[Mr. Game & Watch]

There was a jaunty step in the kremling king’s stride as he strutted down the hall. His enlarged eye investigated his invitation, double checking the room number and contrasting it to the many doors he passed by. The rotund reptile paused as he reached his intended destination, bursting through the door for no other reason than he liked the dramatics and attention of it. It seemed that everyone else around the round table was not too impressed.

As King K Rool entered though, the door swiftly and mysteriously slammed closed behind him. He didn’t think much of it at the time, instead took the opportunity to snatch a seat between two other crocodilian-like figures, truly his type of people. Almost as soon as he was seated, he jumped out of it once more, slamming his scaly claws on the tabletop. “Now what’s this drivel about an alliance!? I see no one here with so much as a banana stand in the Black Market!” he quickly announced, seeing as the rest were quite reserved.

The chair at the head of the table spun around slowly, the shining bald head of what looked like Kirby coming into frame. Such mistakes could no longer be made as his bold and beautiful jawline was plain in sight. “Doesn’t make much sense to me either” the pink blob answered as he stroked his chin. “I was told this was a babe convention, but so far I only see one babe” he continued in his low yet pompous voice. With his numb of a hand, he was able to point out Lusamine, who was especially quiet with an analytic expression equipped to her face. “Chaz, by the way” he added with a raise of his brow.

“I think, anyway, some of you it’s a little hard to tell…” Chaz continued as he looked around the table, noting what looked to be a stack of children’s play bricks in one chair, the three eyed monstrosity that was sat next to K Rool, and a certain top hat with suspiciously long eyelashes.

A robotic set of skeletal fists slammed against the table. “This conjecture is meaningless! Precious time that could be spent destroying Eggman!” Omega roared as he displaced himself from his seat and firmly grabbing the edge of the table as though he was going to toss it across the room. “The logical path of this conversation leads to an obvious setup! If this conference is not detailing the destruction of Eggman then it is of no use to me!”

“Listen here, you brute! I called dibs on the table slamming, I won’t have you take that away from me!”

“It is not necessary to follow my prime directive at all times. I am sufficient in eliminating those who are not Eggman as well!” the machine hollered back as his hands zipped into his arm sockets and were swiftly replaced with a set of miniguns, aiming them directly at King K Rool.

Waluigi’s bored complexion was quickly ignited into excitable mirth at the sudden action, hopping on top of the seat of his chair he began to pump his fists into the air. “WHA HA HA HA! YEAH YEAH!” he cheered them on.

While K Rool seemed to have enough confidence to stand his ground, his neighbour wasn’t too confident in his ability to absorb bullets. Vector dove at the kremling king, just quick enough to protect him from the barrage of bullets. Omega’s rapid fire continued, even without a target anymore. As the fire ceased, the crocodilian duo poked their heads up. “The walls are reinforced, this structure was designed to contain us” Omega observed, noting that the bullets he shot merely scratched the paint off the siding.

“WOAH! Let’s not all get our knickers twisted!” Ballyhoo blurted, stretching his arms out to call for a cease fire.

“Our what now?”

As everyone took a moment to pause, all the lights on the chandelier cut out, leaving the boxed in room pitch black. There was a muffled rustling sound. “AH! Big Top! Where’d you go!?” the famed announcer hollered in fear.

“…I’m on your head.”

“Oh! Right!” he continued to exclaim loudly.

As the lights flickered back on, the trophy of Chaz was displayed in the middle of the table, like a thanksgiving turkey. Without a moment of hesitation, all parties jumped out of their seat. Kraid flexed his abdomen, a fresh set of pikes being displayed and ready to launch. Omega pointed his miniguns at either end of the room, his head component shifting back and forth. Lusamine had a Pokeball at the ready, glaring. K Rool had his crown in his clutch, prepping to toss it like a frisbee. Ballyhoo had a microphone pointing outwardly, like he was prepared to interview someone, but he didn’t know who yet.

Waluigi on the other hand was quick to scramble out of his seat, racing toward the door like it was a race to see who was numbah one! A simple twist of the knob suggested it was locked, but such simple answers did not persuade an anxious man. Waluigi hopped up, firmly planting his feet on either side of the handle and heaved with all his might before his own force caused him to slingshot off.

During the stand off though, Vector noticed that their blocky friend still hadn’t moved an inch. “Hold up! I smell a mystery” the detective spouted confidently. He approached the blocky figure slowly but curiously.

Kraid took an interest in the motionless figure, noting that their outer appearance looked like power armour. “Bwah hah hah! Probably Samus scared stiff by the sight of me!” the creature boasted.

“That’s a… that’s not even a theory.” Vector noted with a scratch of his head. The lime lizard knocked his elbow against the Samus knockoff. The blow was enough to knock the statue’s head right off, revealing the person to be completely made up of children’s playing blocks. As the head landed on the table though, it shattered into an innumerable number of pieces, revealing a tape deck within.

Curiously, Vector pushed the play button. “Greetings all” a distorted voice introduced. “I’m sure you’re curious as to why I brought all seven of you together like this” it continued.

“Oh, cool. I guess I don’t count.”

“That’s right, seven. I’m one of you, but which one am I? You’ll have to find out for yourself. There is no escape from this room, I hold the only key out of here. Take too long though, I might leave with a full trophy case. The game has begun.”

“WHA! No fair, he cheat!”

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Everyone in the room returned to their defensive stances, the recording only made them distrust each other further, though now it was clear that there was only one rat in the room. Potentially, anyways. “Everybody lower your weapons! We can settle this without playing into our mystery man’s hands” Vector stated with his hands in the air. “Or mystery woman” Vector corrected as he glanced at Lusamine.

“And why in the name of Kremland should we trust you?” K Rool questioned as he raised a suspicious finger at the crocodile.

“For one, I saved your life. If I was the croc you’re looking for, I would’ve let you two play the game I set up”

Lusamine rolled her eyes. “A clear play at misdirection.”

Vector glared back at Lusamine. “For two, I’m a detective. If anyone can get us all out of this room unharmed, its me” he added as he stood confidently and pointed to himself.

“A fool invites an expert diffuser to a room with a bomb” Kraid added suspiciously.

“It’s a dime a dozen kook. They want to prove how smart they are by trying to stump people like me. Everyone in this room was invited here for a reason. That means if you were invited you got an invitation. Everyone, pull out your invitations and put them on the table” Vector deduced as he placed his invitation on the table to lead the charge. Everyone else in the room did the same, placing their wads of paper onto the counter, all except Waluigi, who was understandably looking quite nervous. Everyone in the room switched their gaze over to him.

The purple plumber began to back away slowly. “Wheh! Waluigi never said he was invited! Waluigi needs somewhere to sleep too!” Waluigi explained as Omega’s Gatling Gun began to twirl with anticipation. “Waluigi hate stupid first person pronouns!”

“He’s right” Vector explained as he inspected MC Ballyhoo’s invitation. “The invitation is for both Big Top and Ballyhoo, so the recording’s accurate. Waluigi wasn’t supposed to be here.”

“Oh. How courteous of them…”

“Of course, Big Top! Who could ever forget about you!?”

Omega stormed through both Lusamine and MC Ballyhoo, shoving them both out of the way so that he could have a clearer target. “Irrelevant! We should terminate potential suspects” he added as he loomed over Waluigi’s cowering body, continuing to rev his mini-gun. “Before… before… before…” with every utterance of the word, Omega’s voice grew deeper and slower before he collapsed to the ground, head sparking before his body flashed and reduced to a trophy.

Waluigi immediately sprung to his feet victoriously, kicking the trophy in front of him. “Wha ha ha! That’ll show you, tin can!” he loudly announced. Though once he kicked the machine, Waluigi instantly recoiled, grabbing his one foot and hopping around on the other.

Vector was still lurched forward, ready to pull Omega away from Waluigi, but it seemed it was unnecessary. Vector looked suspiciously at the other end of the room, then back to his crocodilian brethren. He nodded his head to the other corner of the room. “Keep to this side of the room, I smell something funky over there.”

“Puny morsels, I don’t take orders from you” Kraid boasted as he remained unmoved.

K Rool listened though, shimmying past the equally rotund reptile. “You banana brain! You’re barely a foot taller than me!”

“Upon entering this domain, I shrunk incredibly, but my strength is a thousand fold greater!” he laughed.

While K Rool was distracted by this conversation though, he didn’t notice the banana peel that was just underneath his fleeting foot. He fell flat on his face and instantly rose his head at a sudden sensation from within. “Huh!? That barely hurt at all!” the king exclaimed. As he looked to his abdomen though, he noticed a trophy stand strategically placed where he landed. “Phooey” he muttered as his body stiffened into a trophy.

At the other end of the table, Lusamine and Waluigi were watching curiously, Ballyhoo popping his head over the side of the table continuously like an excited dog looking for scraps. “What happened!? I can’t see!”

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Suspicions continued to rise and suddenly everyone in the room was much less trustworthy of Vector, Kraid in specific glaring at the lime crocodile with his trifecta of eyes. Vector himself was still a bit shocked by King K Rool’s sudden trophification, trying to puzzle together who could have planted those items there when both perpetrators were still in Vector’s sight. That still left Kraid as a possible suspect though.

The titanic lizard turned to face Vector, a fresh set of belly pikes poking out of his abdomen. “A valiant effort, but your pawn fell for your trap before me. I think we’re finished humouring you” the creature stated lowly, bracing himself for his next attack.

“The investigation isn’t over! We have two suspects down, the culprit will be easier to snuff out now! I need to inspect K Rool’s trophy” Vector stated hastily as he attempted to circle around Kraid, though his body made for a fairly good roadblock. The space pirate outright refused the crocodile passage, bumping him back into his previous position.

“Have to agree with the big guy on this one. Even if you’re not the one we’re looking for, you’re putting his plans into motion” Lusamine harshly criticized. She remained on her side of the room though, preferring to watch the event unfold on the other side.

“Uh-oh! Things look like they’re going to get hairy, folks!” MC Ballyhoo announced, as though he was looking back into a camera as he back away.

“Who’re talking to?”

Tensions continued to rise, Vector pulling his fists up, ready to duke it out with his crocodilian brother. Kraid was advancing forward, trying to corner the smaller lizard to make the process of taking him out much easier. Before a punch could be thrown though, Waluigi leapt onto the table. From the beanpole’s overalls, he pulled out an armful of Bob-Ombs and nervously stood tall. “Wheh! Waluigi tired of this! Whoever has the key, give it to Waluigi, or Waluigi blow up whole room!” Waluigi threatened as he cradled the explosives closer to his chest.

Lusamine crossed her arms and continued to watch, mostly unimpressed. Kraid on the other hand immediately switched targets. “You fool! You’ll doom us all!”

“Oh Arceus, you use the term fool legitimately. That’s precious” Lusamine said with a sweet smile.

Vector was making some deft movements toward Waluigi while he had his back turn, but the purple plumber’s head was frantically searching the room around him. He caught sight of the crocodile’s advances and hastily pointed at him. “Not one step closer!” he announced as a Bob-Omb wriggled out of his grasp thanks to his hasty movements. “Whah-oh!” he shouted as bomb-based creature fell onto the tabletop.

Lusamine reached for a pokeball, unleashing her Bewear. The big fluffy creature shielded her, hovering over her body like a true mama bear would. The explosion ruffled the creature’s fur, but due to its fluffy body it took the blast better than most. Within the bomb blasts, a distinct “WAHHH!” could be heard, as though Waluigi turned into a rocket.

As the situation calmed, the Bewear fell backwards like it was ready to pass out. Its facial expression didn’t change whatsoever. Lusamine brushed herself off, fixing the frizzes in her hair and observing the outcome. Both the reptiles were down for the count, very clearly in their trophy forms. The Aether president knelt at her Pokemon, brushing her head lovingly. “Good girl, Snuggems” she praised as she returned the Pokemon into her ball.

Curiously, Lusamine looked to the ceiling, noting a Waluigi size hole punched straight through. “WOAH! Looks like someone forgot to reinforce the roof! Either that or Waluigi is the best weapon the Life Sphere has to offer! A couple more Waluigi missiles and we could probably blow the Starvia’s base into atoms!” MC Ballyhoo announced as he tumbled out from underneath the table.

Lusamine was unsurprised by Ballyhoo’s appearance. “How convenient that you managed to survive” she mused to herself. She grasped at a Pokeball and held it directly in the Master of Catastrophe’s face. “Hand over the key” she demanded.

Ballyhoo’s arms shot into the air. “AH HA HA HA! I uh- I forgot the key!”

“Wait, what? You set this up?”

“I had my doubts too, but its clear as day now.”

“Because we’re the only ones left?”

“That, and everything else pointed to you. During the first kill, Ballyhoo was shouting to cover up what happened to Chaz. Yelling about something he would realistically known about despite how stupid one might think he is. He was the only one who would have remembered to include Big Top as a member of this meeting, anyone else would have just lumped him in with Ballyhoo. Omega turned faulty after he touched you. And there was plenty of time for you to plant that Banana Peel before K Rool slipped on it. Waluigi just sped up this little game of yours”

“… I would have not thought of Ballyhoo as an evil master mind…”

MC Ballyhoo remained smiling, looking over to the other side of the table to see Vector was a trophy now. “OH! Our big star kicked the bucket! How’re we going to get this show off the ground now!?” Ballyhoo outburst as he flailed his arms in the air.

Lusamine’s brow raised. Big Top had double the confusion. “The what?”

“Vector the Crocodile: Detective Extraordinaire, title pending! I knew that dastardly fellow was going to ruin everything! We’re going to have to set up a new pilot now! Who’s going to watch a show where the main character fails his first assignment!?”

“But those people are actually dead! Or trophified, whatever.”

MC Ballyhoo picked up one of the charred invitations and pointed to the back of it, a very tiny font could be seen. One would need a microscope to read it though. “The invitation is a miniature contract! By entering this room, we are not liable for anything that happens to you! Any ideas formed within this room are legally property of Vector the Crocodile: Detective Extraordinaire, title pending!”

“You do realize that Waluigi didn’t have an invitation, right?”

Blinking twice, Ballyhoo activated the propeller within Big Top. “If he sues he’ll ruin us! Big Top, we gotta find him and fast!” Ballyhoo announced as he speedily propelled himself through the hole in the roof to chase after the crook.

That remained Lusamine, alone in the charred meeting room. She sighed. “What a waste of time.” she stated, brushing off her dress. “Only means I’ll have to work double time on bringing beauty to this dump” she continued with a smirk as she daintily kicked Omega’s trophy out of the way and walked to the door.