Post by Mr. Game & Watch on Jul 6, 2017 20:46:41 GMT -8
Throughout the streets of the Life Sphere, the phrase “FALCON JOG!” could be heard by many a citizen every couple of minutes or so. Considering that it was the chief of police’s regular morning routine, it shouldn’t have surprised anyone by this point in time, but it was still capable of catching some people off guard every once in a while. It may have resulted in a few instants of people choking on their food or some slap-sticky prat falls, but it did keep the man motivated. It worked almost as well as a shot of adrenaline.
The famed Captain Falcon was briskly jogging along the lanes of Brightwing (as briskly as a man who follows the guidelines of ‘gotta go fast’ can be anyways) until he heard the cry of a damsel in distress! His falcon-like ears honed in on the fair maiden’s distress signal and he bolted toward the echo’s source. A damp and dark alleyway, he should have known!
He raced down the crevasse between buildings and arrived in the nick of time to see the helpless female being mugged by two nefarious ne’er-do-wells! The speed demon cracked both a smile and his knuckles within a matter of seconds. It was child’s play, but it was the first bit of action he’s seen in a while.
The first of the unsuspecting fiends got a good taste of his “FALCON KICK!” In the meantime, he was trying to figure out a good one-liner about how the criminal should take his foot out of his mouth, but it wasn’t quite connecting as well as he thought it would. The other creep held his knife closer to his victim’s neck, so there was no time for clever puns!
The felon probably said something along the lines of “don’t step an inch closer or she gets it!” Captain Falcon was ready to Falcon Backhand the guy, but the civilian would be in grave danger if he did. The police captain broke his battle stance and raised his hands to surrender, not before pressing a button sewn into his glove.
“Shoot! I didn’t expect this!” he exclaimed with a slight smirk. The thief began to back away slowly, his face lighting up at the possibility of victory, but before he could take another step, the sound of a race car came zooming into earshot. The speedy craft was barreling toward its target, the criminal. His grip on the hostage loosened and Captain Falcon swiftly took advantage of his mistake. The F-Zero driver leapt forward and snatched the damsel out of the hands of the felon, gently landing atop his vehicle while it mowed down the mugger.
The hovercraft came to a screeching halt and Captain Falcon laid the fair maiden within the comforts of his muscly arms. The hero brushed the damsel’s luscious locks to reveal the beauty concealed behind them. A bodacious ‘YES!’ echoed through his mind.
“My her- o- o- o-…” the woman replied in a robotic tone that began to skip like a broken record until it powered down and the woman’s body reverted into a mannequin-esque husk.
A brief wave of confusion splashed across the Captain’s face until he came to the realization. “An Assist Trophy!” he shouted as he quickly tossed the body away like a ragdoll. Keeping it close to him was not a wise decision considering that it could do anything from expelling noxious gas to outright exploding and dealing max damage!
Before too long though, he heard a familiar cackle from the rooftops. And soon after, a sinister grin that could only belong to his arch nemesis, Black Shadow. “HAHAHA HA! Predictable as always!”
Captain Falcon raised a clenched fist to his long-time adversary. “Black Shadow! No Starvia this time!?”
“Of course not! Why waste my precious Shadow Bugs on the likes of you! No! It is more fitting that you die the way you lived! Behind the wheel!” the villain bombastically shouted as he pulled out a remote and promptly pressed every single button on the device with a squeeze of his fist. It raised the concrete lining the alley, putting him and his vehicle on even ground with the rooftops, which inexplicably had a racetrack setup that went all across the Life Sphere. “That girl you saved was a decoy!” Black Shadow boasted as he wandered closer to Captain Falcon. “Right now the real one’s residing over a tank of boiling hot magma on the other side of town! You will race across my deadly speedway and you must best your evil half-brother in the process! I don’t have to tell you what happens when you lose, do I?” the mastermind gloated as he continued to grin devilishly in Captain Falcon’s face.
With a stern complexion in response, Captain Falcon popped his speed racer’s pod hatch open. “No. You’ll have to tell me what happens when I win!” he hollered as he hopped into his driver seat, bro-fisting his best bro in the backseat, Shiek. “We rescuing dames, bro!” he cheered to his totally masculine buddy.
“Ye-ye-ye-YEAH!” Shiek echoed back whilst fist-pumping like there was no tomorrow.
Captain Falcon’s face lit up with that special kind of rush that high risk racing pumped into his system. It had been years since he felt it. A gigantic grin grew across his face as he gripped his hands against the steering wheel.
It slowly began to fade as reality kicked in. It would seem as though he would have to wait another couple of years before he could feel that rush again because while his imagination ran wild with the possibilities behind the helpless screeching, the real world alleyway was empty save for a Koopa that looked to have stubbed their toe badly.
The police captain sighed as his triangular eyes lingered on the alley for a couple moments longer, hoping that something would happen, but alas, nothing did. While to some, a life that was filled to the brim with action set pieces would seem exhausting, but Captain Falcon thrived on it. Playing the role of police chief only exhausted that longing more. So often did he want to give up his job and go back to the realm of adventuring, but reason always stopped him. He was a brash man normally, but he knew that leaving the Police HQ would be the worst mistake he could ever make. Not only for himself, but the entirety of the police force.
Captain Falcon sighed and he began to resume his jog, though this time at a more leisurely pace. He knew he was doing the right thing. He was making ends meet, and doing so well. Some days though, it felt like he was trudging through a series of wrong decisions. A culmination of ignoring his needs for the sake of cutting corners and improving his work output. Was doing the right thing supposed to feel like that or was he doing the right thing the wrong way?
There was still a bit of time before he had to return to his post though. Perhaps an adventure would stumble into him?
The famed Captain Falcon was briskly jogging along the lanes of Brightwing (as briskly as a man who follows the guidelines of ‘gotta go fast’ can be anyways) until he heard the cry of a damsel in distress! His falcon-like ears honed in on the fair maiden’s distress signal and he bolted toward the echo’s source. A damp and dark alleyway, he should have known!
He raced down the crevasse between buildings and arrived in the nick of time to see the helpless female being mugged by two nefarious ne’er-do-wells! The speed demon cracked both a smile and his knuckles within a matter of seconds. It was child’s play, but it was the first bit of action he’s seen in a while.
The first of the unsuspecting fiends got a good taste of his “FALCON KICK!” In the meantime, he was trying to figure out a good one-liner about how the criminal should take his foot out of his mouth, but it wasn’t quite connecting as well as he thought it would. The other creep held his knife closer to his victim’s neck, so there was no time for clever puns!
The felon probably said something along the lines of “don’t step an inch closer or she gets it!” Captain Falcon was ready to Falcon Backhand the guy, but the civilian would be in grave danger if he did. The police captain broke his battle stance and raised his hands to surrender, not before pressing a button sewn into his glove.
“Shoot! I didn’t expect this!” he exclaimed with a slight smirk. The thief began to back away slowly, his face lighting up at the possibility of victory, but before he could take another step, the sound of a race car came zooming into earshot. The speedy craft was barreling toward its target, the criminal. His grip on the hostage loosened and Captain Falcon swiftly took advantage of his mistake. The F-Zero driver leapt forward and snatched the damsel out of the hands of the felon, gently landing atop his vehicle while it mowed down the mugger.
The hovercraft came to a screeching halt and Captain Falcon laid the fair maiden within the comforts of his muscly arms. The hero brushed the damsel’s luscious locks to reveal the beauty concealed behind them. A bodacious ‘YES!’ echoed through his mind.
“My her- o- o- o-…” the woman replied in a robotic tone that began to skip like a broken record until it powered down and the woman’s body reverted into a mannequin-esque husk.
A brief wave of confusion splashed across the Captain’s face until he came to the realization. “An Assist Trophy!” he shouted as he quickly tossed the body away like a ragdoll. Keeping it close to him was not a wise decision considering that it could do anything from expelling noxious gas to outright exploding and dealing max damage!
Before too long though, he heard a familiar cackle from the rooftops. And soon after, a sinister grin that could only belong to his arch nemesis, Black Shadow. “HAHAHA HA! Predictable as always!”
Captain Falcon raised a clenched fist to his long-time adversary. “Black Shadow! No Starvia this time!?”
“Of course not! Why waste my precious Shadow Bugs on the likes of you! No! It is more fitting that you die the way you lived! Behind the wheel!” the villain bombastically shouted as he pulled out a remote and promptly pressed every single button on the device with a squeeze of his fist. It raised the concrete lining the alley, putting him and his vehicle on even ground with the rooftops, which inexplicably had a racetrack setup that went all across the Life Sphere. “That girl you saved was a decoy!” Black Shadow boasted as he wandered closer to Captain Falcon. “Right now the real one’s residing over a tank of boiling hot magma on the other side of town! You will race across my deadly speedway and you must best your evil half-brother in the process! I don’t have to tell you what happens when you lose, do I?” the mastermind gloated as he continued to grin devilishly in Captain Falcon’s face.
With a stern complexion in response, Captain Falcon popped his speed racer’s pod hatch open. “No. You’ll have to tell me what happens when I win!” he hollered as he hopped into his driver seat, bro-fisting his best bro in the backseat, Shiek. “We rescuing dames, bro!” he cheered to his totally masculine buddy.
“Ye-ye-ye-YEAH!” Shiek echoed back whilst fist-pumping like there was no tomorrow.
Captain Falcon’s face lit up with that special kind of rush that high risk racing pumped into his system. It had been years since he felt it. A gigantic grin grew across his face as he gripped his hands against the steering wheel.
It slowly began to fade as reality kicked in. It would seem as though he would have to wait another couple of years before he could feel that rush again because while his imagination ran wild with the possibilities behind the helpless screeching, the real world alleyway was empty save for a Koopa that looked to have stubbed their toe badly.
The police captain sighed as his triangular eyes lingered on the alley for a couple moments longer, hoping that something would happen, but alas, nothing did. While to some, a life that was filled to the brim with action set pieces would seem exhausting, but Captain Falcon thrived on it. Playing the role of police chief only exhausted that longing more. So often did he want to give up his job and go back to the realm of adventuring, but reason always stopped him. He was a brash man normally, but he knew that leaving the Police HQ would be the worst mistake he could ever make. Not only for himself, but the entirety of the police force.
Captain Falcon sighed and he began to resume his jog, though this time at a more leisurely pace. He knew he was doing the right thing. He was making ends meet, and doing so well. Some days though, it felt like he was trudging through a series of wrong decisions. A culmination of ignoring his needs for the sake of cutting corners and improving his work output. Was doing the right thing supposed to feel like that or was he doing the right thing the wrong way?
There was still a bit of time before he had to return to his post though. Perhaps an adventure would stumble into him?
