[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 1:

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:

My eyes were broke open as a blinding light flashed before me. By the time the flare passed, I felt conscious once more, though my surroundings were hardly the last I remembered. It was peculiar, last I thought I was wandering some desert wasteland on an unknown planet and my assumption after that was I died, but I suppose if I was able to make that assumption I was not there just yet. My bones were so ridged and sore that the moment I rose I could hear the echo of their crackling, the sound of fire crackers going off was the only sound I could compare it to.

Recovering from my previous position, I quickly noticed that wherever I was, they had a prison and in addition to that, I wasn’t alone in my cell. A large lizard like-being was also lurking about and it appeared that he was just as aware of me as I was of him. “You?” I struggled to utter due to waking up from a slumber that felt like months. I recognised the outline of the body though.

The shelled behemoth cackled lowly as he stepped out from the shadows, revealing his leathery face. “Bwhaha, I like King Koopa better, but yes it is me” the being introduced in his throaty booming voice.

Well, I had a feeling that I might’ve stumbled into a familiar universe, however it happened. To this day I’m still not entirely certain how or why it happened. One moment I was stuck in a white purgatory with a past version of myself and the next I was wandering through a dead landscape. “Well yes, I am aware of who you are, one cannot easily forget the face of the harbinger for the near destruction of the multi-verses” I addressed as I brushed myself off and stood correctly.

In that second, the beast snapped like I ruined his favourite chew toy. I never actually thought that the turtle could move that fast. He was quick to wrap his talons around my throat and pinned me against the nearest wall, a fiery vengeance clear as day in his eyes and a growl bellowing within his throat. “I was double crossed twice! I’d gut you for even thinking any of that was my fault!”

“Now now… Let us not resort to barbarism. I’m sure you won’t be getting out of here any faster by killing your cellmate” I attempted to reason with the creature, though naturally it was hardly in a calm and collected inflection. Bowser gritted his sharp teeth as he seemed to be considering my words. In due time, he released me. Rubbing my neck in pain quietly, a few moments of silence passed between us.

“Bahah. I’m not leaving. I’m sure you’re not either. Both of our enemies rule this land. A trial is coming, but I don’t expect to be shown mercy. Times seem dire and I’m sure Mario would rather leave me here to rot than ever considering to let me be free. From what I heard from that obnoxious hedgehog, he feels the same for you.”

I was assuming that this was all a nightmare at this point. Not only was I under the custody of Sonic, but by the sound of it he was also running whatever city I was in. Who would ever appoint that freeloader as leader? Knowing him as well as I did, regardless of him being my nemesis, it was hardly a task I would think anyone would trust him with. “So, we arrive on a new planet and the first thing we are to be accounted for is whether or not we can be trusted by people who already don’t trust us whatsoever. Hardly the fair trial. What exactly do you mean by ‘times seem dire’ by the way?”

“Either those two or the Bounty Hunter. She would be a more neutral party. Not that it gives us a better chance.” the lizard’s scaly face scrunched as I mentioned his phrasing earlier. It was what first gave me the impression that this world had more secret horrors than the endless dead tundra I first experienced. “There is… some kind of sickness. I don’t know what it is or where it came from, but it enrages the host. There was an invasion not too long ago, I didn’t get the chance to stomp them out myself. Rumor has it that Tabuu has something to do with it, the leader of the invasion confirmed that.” The lumbering ox shifted over toward a wall, digging his claws into the concrete like an anxious dog. There were enough deep markings to tell me that this was a regular routine for him.

“So, it is revenge you seek then? You know, revenge is an emotion that should be trusted the most. I mean, what can Mario say to oppose the fact that you seek nothing more than the destruction of this new foe? Squabbles that happened in the past shouldn’t be effecting us right now, if the situation is as severe as you say it is, then I suppose it is time we set aside our past conflicts in order to reach the greater goal, wouldn’t you agree?”

The beast quit his pawing at the walls and slowly turned to me once more, this time with a deep laugh. He stood tall, his size outclassing me in every way shape and form. “The hedgehog hardly gave me the impression that you were a voice of reason. Insane, egomaniacal, evil, were just a few words he used.”

Yes… Well, I have been given a great deal of time to think about that. Being trapped in a void with a younger version of yourself teaches you quite a lot.”

Bowser sneered once more, an uncaring look to his eye. “Yeah, how so?”

“Creatures like Sonic can use words like insane, malicious, monstrous all they want. They are simply words to me because who cares what they say, they despise me anyway. Once you start seeing yourself as such, that’s another story entirely. You see, when I spoke to my younger self, detailing my achievements in life, such as ripping open a planet in order to summon a god to do my bidding, he… er I was absolutely astonished. He threw back a statement that still haunts me: ‘how was that going to restore my grandfather’s name!?’ It seems in my pursuit for revenge against both the people that wronged my idol and that accursed hedgehog, I lost my way. Reveling in hatred, looking for nothing more than mere power to steal the world from those who took it from my grandfather. ”

The beast roared with laughter at this point, looking down upon me like I was merely a speck to him. “Has my sentence become torture through therapy? Or do you really expect me to care for your worthless worries?” He returned a snide glance, though I guess it is what I should have expected. From what I’ve heard, Bowser was nothing more than a brute so I doubted he would be so open to understand. It felt good to vent that out regardless.

“Let me finish! This new world is a new beginning for me, somewhere to start fresh. The people that have wronged my grandfather no longer exist, and I let my vendetta against them and Sonic blind me for too long. You must feel the same. The Subspace event hasn’t exactly put you in a much better light than anything you’ve done in the past. I think this plague, this planet is the start of something new, something better for us all!”

I could tell by merely looking at him, he was contemplating on my words, though his grimace suggested that no matter what I was going to say to him it wasn’t going to make a lasting impression. I know if someone told me the same thing before I arrived on this planet I wouldn’t have taken them as at all credible. “That desert must’ve fried your skull…” he groaned as he turned away to return to skidding his nails against the wall.

“Perhaps, but maybe you should keep in mind how many more people identify you as a villain over a hero. As the saying goes ‘we are all the heroes of our own stories’, how much of that do you think is true for either of us? Fate is a funny little game, isn’t it?”

I left him on that note, we didn’t speak for about a day. In that time I was regretting a few words I’ve said and thought them to be too overt, but what can I say, I’m the kind of person that lives in the moment and tries to relish in it as much as possible. It is certainly something that’s bit me back in the past. In due time though, Bowser and I continued talking. I would tell him stories of my grandfather and how I attempted to follow in his footsteps, failing of course after revenge became my only goal to strive for. Bowser spoke of his campaigns in the Mushroom Kingdom and how they had failed as well. You could say we were friends at one point, before the whole Gang Wars saga begun. A while afterwards our respective trials came about.

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 2:

Bowser, King of the Koopa

As much as I wanted to continue mocking and belittling the doctor for allowing himself to fall for such feeble emotions, his words… they held a stench of the truth. I didn’t submit to these emotions, they’re for the weak, but I humored him. I’m glad I did too because his words of passion and redemption were enough for us to pass our trials and be released from those clustered cages. Either that ovular human had a way with his words, or the bounty hunter was more compassionate than I thought. It mattered little in the grand scheme of things, freedom was all I cared about at the time.

It wasn’t until a week or so after I got out that I saw Eggman again. I made the mistake of going out into public that day. Those bold enough to spit words at me had nothing but obscenities to say, in which I reaffirmed my dominance by growling and showing them why so many feared me. I would hate to get back into that dank cell, so I went no further than a warning. So many wanted to pin the blame of their current predicament on me. It never fazed me until a Koopa, one of my own people, shot a few words of his own at me.

It was like these people believed that I was following Tabuu willingly. It was trickery! His agenda was not my own and he played Master Hand like a puppet. They hail Mr. Game & Watch as a hero, yet he was no different than me! In fact, Shadow Bugs would have never arose if he didn’t agree to work with us, so why am I the only target!? It mattered not, my skin was thick, my shell thicker. They were too cowardly to actually engage me in combat, so they used the only means they knew how, words. Words are meaningless to me.

It was then that I ran into my cellmate once more, it bit strange that we both decided to walk around the Life Sphere on this day, but considering the lack of population, I would imagine it wasn’t hard to run into people from time to time. He wore an odd grimace on his face and offered to walk and talk with me. I accepted, only for the purpose of hearing something other than spitefulness all day.

“Seems to be I’m not the only one that’s heard of you”

“Spare me your mockery, doctor.”

“I come not to mock, simply to talk. There’s been a lot of reading for me to catch up on. I need someone to bounce ideas off of and frankly I know nobody else who’d be willing to speak with me.” He offered with a slight gesture of his hand to continue mocking.

I waddle beside him, he seemed to have an easier time taking steps than I did. “You learned of the feud then. That’s all anyone ever wants to talk about. I side with Mario, if that’s what you want to know. I hate him with all the passion of the Mushroom Kingdom’s sun, but I hate Tabuu more. I would rather stab him with my talons personally than see the planet explode and assume he’s dead.” I explained in a rather simplistic though fiery manner. This isn’t the first time I’ve discussed my opinions about this subject, in fact it was usually the first thing that came up in casual conversation. After they point at me and tell me how I messed up royally.

Robotnik was slightly taken aback by my words, though he was caught up within seconds. “Yes, that is what I came to talk about, but not for the reason you think. I think the whole thing is idiotic. Here we are, the last hope for life on this planet and we spend it all arguing of whose plan is better. These paragons of the people are hardly acting like this is serious business, instead they squabble like children. In fact, you siding with one of them is playing right into their hands. The reason this argument has been going on for so long is that they have made factions and now that there are factions there are enemies. The Starvia should be the only enemy.”

“There’s only enough time and resources for one plan. There has to be a decision made of which is better.”

“Yes, we only have so much time, but the problem is that it’s being wasted in political debates and fights. How often does Mario train his army and how much closer is Sonic to making that so called ark that will save us from this planet? I guarantee that it’s not as much as it could be. They can still both enact their plans without all this drama. There are engineers that can’t fight and there are warriors that don’t know what to do with a wrench. Compromise can be met, they just refuse to see it because they’re too busy trying to be the one with the right answer.”

I contemplated on the doctor’s words, and they made sense. Funny to think back on this and then look back on the Gang Wars. The three of us were too blinded by rage to actually come to an agreement. It comes with the field, there’s a reason why history will always see us as the villains. We had too much ego and anger.

I had no reply to this, I wasn’t a philosopher or one that was easy to see reason. I decide and then I do. Though that wasn’t the only reason I remained silent on the topic. As we walked, my eyes caught a sight in a passing alley. It looked like one of my sons, along with a collection of Koopas. They were frantically scurrying around some sort of mechanism, if I didn’t learn of what it was later I would have no clue what it did. I entered the alley without caution and stormed my way over to Larry Koopa.

“What is this?” I asked in a simple tone. I wasn’t sure about what to think of any of this at first, mostly because I hadn’t had a clue as to what was going on.

My blue spikey haired son leapt away from the mess and began to coil his hands and fingers together in a scheming way, not unlike Larry to do. He gave off a wheezy little cackle. “Hehehe, hello daddy. Just putting the finishing touches on my wonderful device.”

I glanced back at the scrap he was referring to and was hardly impressed. Larry was hardly the intelligent tinkerer that Ludwig was, though it was cohesive enough to be seen as a single structure of some variety. “It’s a bomb! We’re going to plant it at the next Leader’s meeting and then surprise! We grab Mario and put him on our trophy wall! I di-“ I couldn’t let the boy finish. I grabbed my son by the throat and I squeezed tightly so he would learn quickly that I meant business.

“No” I growled. “Times have changed. No more fighting Mario, do you understand?” I commanded the boy.

“Grk, yes mighty King Koopa, but what about Mama Peach!? She’s still captive by Mario” the boy panicked as he struggled in my grasp.

“Mama Peach? So that’s why you kidnap her so much” the doctor butted in.

“Quiet! Mario has enough enemies to deal with, and so do we. We’re fools if we continue to fight like this.”

“We haven’t had anything to eat in days, Lord Bowser…” one of the quivering Koopas managed to squeak out. I let go of my son, allowing him to breathe for a moment while I look upon the cowardly beggar. “Some of us had to resort to crime, even work for K Rool for scrap… not all of us are capable of being muscle or merchants… We need Mario off of the leader position so we can eat again.” My teeth clashed in an aggravated pattern. I know Mario better than to just deny them food out of spite, he was saving reserves for more important citizens. To me though, the Koopas and Goombas were the most important citizens.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, actually. By laws of the Life Sphere, and since it is an Oligarch society, so long as there is a group of peoples, there is allowed to be a leader who represents them. Now, I don’t know exactly how the selection process is done here, so how someone like Bowser gets in as a position of power is hard to tell. If anything, he can fight to get the, for lack of a better term, underbelly of the Life Sphere power politically. If we strike with violence, we’ll be attacking a very powerful ally. How many times do you think Mario has failed to protect the Mushroom Kingdom?”

I had no interest in reforming my army or my people before that moment, but both the doctor and my son convinced me otherwise. My people weren’t going to listen to Mario, but they were going to listen to me. I had to take them back, for more than preventing chaos. The Koopas and Goombas had become lower class citizens, they were the last to get the rations and support they needed to survive because of my actions in the Subspace Emissary and their issues in the past. Toads were running everything and so were their biases. King Koopa had to regain his throne whether he liked it or not. Looking back now, I don’t think I might have been ready, but then, there was a passion in me that I felt like no other. I was going to make a change for the good of my people, do as Dr. Eggman said, become the hero of my own story.

I glanced back at the shivering Koopa. “Where is this K Rool?”

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 3:

King K. Rool

Do I remember the time before the Gang Wars started? Why of course I do! Those were truly the golden days of the Life Sphere. Did I ever tell you that back then I was the only one with a position of power in the Black Market? The only one notable anyway. The cretins from all the lands used to work for me, though they were hardly as good as my Kremling, besides Krusha. Now that one was an irritation. Whenever someone wanted something, they went to King K Rool! The best of all, there was no Donkey Kong! Finally that sniveling simian wasn’t ruining everything I had!

Oh, you want to know about how I met Bowser and Eggman… Oh bother. My stories of ruling the crime centers of the Life Sphere were far more interesting, but I suppose I’ll humour you.

I should have kicked them out the moment they were at my doorstep. I knew they were nothing but trouble. Back then I thought they were still in prison, but no they seemed to have gotten out and started their own agenda with my old empire. Apparently the construction of Eggman’s tower was beginning around this time, but I never heard about it until it was actually finished.

Anyways, so they barged through my door as I was rallying my troops for another pep talk. You don’t want to hear about that either do you? Drat, it was a good one. Well, until Bowser busted down my door and tossed one of my Eggpawn’s decapitated heads into my stomach. He then stomped furiously over to me, looking as though he was trying to grab my neck and hold me up like some sort of rag doll. I was having none of it and I managed to back off before he could lay one of his slimy yellow talons on me.

“Well well, even in a time of crisis there’s at least one opportunist skulking about. Where exactly did you find these models of my robots?” the doctor questioned as though they were playing a good cop, bad cop routine.

Bowser still had the kind of look that oozed the thought of killing me where I stood, but luckily I had legions of Kremlings, Koopas, and Eggman’s own machinery to back me up, oh the irony it would be if they had fallen by their own troops then and there. By the looks of it though, they had already taken a few of my outdoor guards. Such a pity. “Well, I couldn’t just let all these robots go to waste in those wastelands now should I? Besides, they give my troops a bit more of variety don’t they?”

“I’m here to take back my people” the beastly turtle snarled. I could already tell that the encounter was not going to end all that well.

“I was also looking to take my machines back, they are technically my property after all. Frankly I don’t want you ruining my name any more than it has by using my robots, what with your rebellious nature toward the Life Sphere and all.”

“And why shouldn’t I be rebellious? Our system of government is broken. Have you seen any of these meetings between the Leaders? Samus is always too busy to attend, all the while Mario and Sonic scream at each other that they’re right. In the meantime, those they neglect grow starving and without leadership. I’ve been around long enough to know there’s enough food for everyone, the Leaders are just too incompetent to spread it around to everyone! I’ve made deals with every trader in the Life Sphere, there isn’t anything on the market that I don’t know about.” I spieled as Bowser only seemed to be interested in gazing at my stomach. “What are you looking at!?”

“You say everyone’s starving, yet you’re as plump as Petey Piranha.” the devilish reptile sneered.

“Ha ha, aren’t you the clever little comedian” I replied with the utmost amount of sarcasm. Only a couple minutes with these bumbling buffoons and I already hate them.

“Regardless of your questionable weight, pulling a rebellion at this point would only divide us even more, this is a colossal waste of time and resources. If you can provide the Life Sphere with the resources it needs, why do you choose to make an enemy out of them instead of helping and being useful?”

I felt like I had to clear my earholes of wax. What did the Dr. Robotnik just ask me? “Oh ho ho ho! Dr. Eggman! These stories I hear of you paint you in a much different colour. I mean how could someone possibly mistake the dictator of Mobius for this peacekeeper? Drop the act, what kind of ploy do you have in mind for this planet, hm? All this talk of peace only to forward the trust of the Life Sphere citizens until the Starvia’s dealt with and then when the coast is clear swipe the city out from under them? How deliciously devious of you!”

Eggman went quiet for a moment, but Bowser stepped forth with a casual eye roll. Regardless of anything I said, the snapping turtle still looked like he wanted to eat me. “Can I dance on his corpse when I’m done? I’m going to do it anyway.”

“Wait, wait. I still have my army. You attack me and they’ll stomp you into the ground like garbage compactor within seconds. As you see, they might be your people, but I’ve provided them with something you haven’t. They follow my lead, like the Egg Pawns do, they were just as easy to reprogram.”

Bowser continued to glare at me, as though I was a tasty desert and my guess is that prison didn’t give him too much to chomp on. I raised my hand to notify my legion to be ready for battle, they eagerly waiting at my back despite causally enforcing their warehouse duties only a couple seconds prior. Some of them deciding to drop the fragile components they held in their hands in order to make a more ready stance. Some of them needed to get their heads checked, I’m certain.

Although, what I didn’t expect to hear was the sound of them fighting each other? I instantly turned around and what do you know, loyalty from Koopas and Goombas is lost fairly quickly. My mouth formed an O as I realised that I just gave King Koopa an opportunity to sneak attack and he took the time to very quickly bum rush me.

When I came to, my warehouse had gone to disarray and the diversity between my employees dropped significantly. The Egg Bots were gone, and of course the Koopa Troopa left as well. That just left me and my thoughts, mostly caught up in thinking of how I could return the favour to that miserable duo.

Now, would you like to hear a story where I succeed? I have plenty of those to go around and surely they are far more interesting than all this Gang Wars business, right? Are you not tired of this subject yet? Fine then, let me try to remember the next point of interest in this conflict…

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 4:

Dr. Ivo “Eggman” Robotnik:

My tower was still coming along very nicely, with the addition of my Egg Pawns finally being under my control once again. It would only take a couple more days until its construction was complete at this point and just as I suspected there was a huge backlash. Every news article was fearing and dreading it, stating that my criminal empire was growing yet again and that I was returning to my old ways in a time of crisis. The nerve of these news articles! I’ve yet to actually do anything and already they claim I’ll be the downfall of everything. I knew that I couldn’t expect to be greeted with open arms, but this world was not completely dominated by Sonic and his friends, so I was expecting at least some leniency.

I resided on the peak of my tower, observing the city that is the Life Sphere. My building was the tallest point in the entire range of the Sphere, so I did get a good view of things. Most people enjoyed a good view of a lake or an ocean, you know, some natural structure. While those things were all set and good, true beauty to me was the accomplishment of construction. In nature, there is no artist, it is just something generated, whereas structures and buildings there’s more to it than a mere mismatch of matter. The city was beginning to look like something viable, a place of advancement and hope for future.

As much as I could admire the growth of the Life Sphere though, my mind was still hooked on the words of that criminal. While my intentions and plans were never what K Rool had guessed, knowing myself I wasn’t sure if it would actually stay that way. I was blinded by power and revenge before, what if it could happen again. If it did, I would be unredeemable at that point, wouldn’t I? That is the unfortunate part of this all, nobody trusts me, not even myself. Perhaps Bowser does, but overall my change of heart could snap in an instant. I mean, how long will it be before I begin to agree with the crowd, their opinions twisting me into what they want to see me as?

I suppose that time can only tell. It is true what they say, destiny is nothing more than a test. Though, the biggest question on that test would be has my time come and have I failed it? Is it too late for me to clean the name that is Robotnik? The people already don’t trust me and I can’t quite see a way to make them do so. My grandfather could only look down upon me in shame at this point in my life. He was a man who wanted to further humanity, help and heal them within all his power, yet I was a man who did the opposite. And for what? To restore his good name? It would take many a generation of Robotniks before anyone could wear the name with pride.

Perhaps it wasn’t the end though. I thought on it for a moment. I could just as easily help people the same way my idol did. While I was not well versed in biology or medical sciences, I was one of the leading minds behind robotics, especially around the Life Sphere. I could still be a force for good. I could use my tower as a factory, create machinery to aid the citizens that couldn’t fend for themselves. It was a stretch of a goal as there would no doubt be backlash since no one would trust my products, but with time I could ease my way into the field. All I needed to do was help out the right people.

It was then that my eyes fell upon the space where Mr. Game & Watch’s statue had once been. It instantly reminded me of the invasion and that’s when my mind began to rush. If anyone was able to buff up the Life Sphere’s defenses, it would be me. Say what you will of Samus’s abilities as a mechanic, she was a bounty hunter primary and I was an engineer. Better yet, I’ve built more fortresses and defense drones than most mustachioed men of my age. If they would allow me, I could make this sphere the most secure space on the planet.

The plan would line up just as well with my idea of getting Bowser into power. Once he had his people securely backed up by himself, I could turn his attention to the idea of fortifying the Life Sphere. I doubted he would oppose the idea and in return for my aid into his reign of power he couldn’t possibly refuse me.

I raced off to begin the schematics, but as I went to exit through the roof hatch, I bumped into one of my Egg Pawns. It bowed to me as they naturally did before addressing me. “Dr. Robotnik, there is another Koopa perpetrator defacing the west wall” the clunky machine reported as it saluted.

It was the fourth report I had heard in the past two days, and it was getting quite frustrating that Bowser’s children were spray painting all over my shiny new walls. Correction, one child. It seemed to be the same spiky haired one I had encountered in that alleyway with King Koopa himself. I had no clue as to why he kept doing it as he always escaped before I could get an answer out of him, but I was thinking enough was enough, I had to call Bowser about it.

“Prepare the monitor, I was wishing to speak with that turtle regardless.”

“Roger roger” the machine nodded before it sprinted away to complete its task.

“And just to be clear, call Bowser. Not every turtle like being on my contact list!” I had to reassure. When you spend so much time around robots, you begin to learn that everything you say has to be as simplified as possible.

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 5:

Bowser, King of the Koopa

Oh, how I wished that I stayed behind and waited for K Rool to wake up so I could knock him back down again. I haven’t felt that kind of rush in a long time. It was necessary I suppose… doesn’t mean I liked the decision. That bumbling fool, could you believe that my people ever actually were under his wing? The thought sickens me.

After the incident at King K Rool’s warehouse, word had spread of my movement. Eggman was a part of it too, but everybody saw it as my own project. Might be because everyone who joined my clan were those still loyal to me, Eggman had no people. He had machines, but they were hardly intelligent enough to be classified as citizens. My people though, their strength was their mere numbers. Soon, the Life Sphere was overrun with my subjects, filling the streets with the hopes that one day everyone would be equals, all it would take is my position in the political office.

Mario’s people rebelled. Of course they did. They always did. It didn’t matter what a Koopa does, no matter what it isn’t for the greater good. I think that might be why I despise the people of the Mushroom Kingdom the most, they are always the quickest to shift the blame on us and then go puppy dog eyed whenever someone confronts them about it. No wonder those mushroom headed idiots wear diapers, they’re all babies!

*Scoff* enough of my ranting though. The next chapter into this saga, I remember it clearly. It was the point that both Eggman and I remember best.

I was mulling over some paperwork. Let the Great Koopa in the sky help me if I remember what any of it said. It was the same as any other waver nonsense, a trap in the shape of a treaty of some kind. I never sign those things, their whole design is to bait you like a cheep-cheep and use it against you whenever possible, despite the information being completely different from what it used to be. I tossed it away, into my fire pit. What? Of course I have a fire pit in my office, you don’t? What do you do when you’re bor… STOP SIDETRACKING ME.

Where was I… In my office… tossing away paper… Ah yes! Eggman had designed a giant monitor for me, I suppose if we had been in an alliance for longer than we were we would’ve discussed more through the screen, but we at least got one use out of it. As the document reduced to ashes, the monitor blinked on and the mustachioed man’s face was the most I could see. It was in more detail than I would’ve liked to see. Human skin is disgusting.

“Good evening, Bowser” the doctor greeted.

I sauntered over to my desk and lounged on it a bit. I was already getting tired of standing and I knew that if he was calling me he had a lot to say. He talked a lot. “Doctor” I grunted as I collected a few more stacks of the useless documents. “I’m busy right now, this better be good” I added gruffly.

“Yes, I can see you are pre-occupied with burning all those treaties I worked so hard to acquire…” he stated in a tone that I assume was meant to make me feel guilty. If so, it didn’t work.

“All of it, useless words that mean nothing until something goes wrong and everyone starts blaming me. Pencil necks hiding behind documents to make themselves feel safe. If someone wants to support me they do it by showing it, not having me sign all this material waste.”

“Sigh. That isn’t the reason I’m calling you. That son of yours keeps defacing my property and it is getting incredibly irritating. I have enough to deal with without having to shoo him away!”

“Hrmph, there’s a virus contaminating this entire planet that turns us all into mindless creatures and your worried about that tower of yours getting a different shade of paint? If the boy so chooses to waste his time on such petty things, let him. No skin off of my nose.”

“No. Your people are out of control. The reports say that a group from your clan was responsible for the destruction of the Game & Watch statue, Waluigi being the only one brought into custody. This is insanity! Nobody will support our party if they keep terrorizing the city like this!”

In that moment, something snapped in me. I threw the rest of whatever I had left in my hands into the pit and stomped toward the screen, a clear fury in my eyes. I’m not the kind of person who takes an insult against my people so likely, my voice is just as strong as all theirs combined. “Whoever did that was not my people! I didn’t instruct anyone to do that! Waluigi is not of my clan, I would never allow one of Mario’s friends into my coven!”

“The reports stated that he was classified as under your army! I know how much you hated Game & Watch, but this was an incredibly huge step back in our operation!”

“I wouldn’t have allowed any such thing! He is trying to cover his own hide like the coward he is! I despise that flat man, but I did nothing against him yet. The statue was a waste of resources, yes, but I have no use for gold on this world.”

“The reports…”

“The reports!? The reports also state that you are building a supply of terrorist weapons! Are you though!?”

“…”

“I’ve had enough of this squabbling! What my people do is their own business! You are a confused old man that doesn’t know what to do with himself! Bleh, this peace business of yours is just some distorted future that even you can’t comprehend! A man of chaos trying to play peace keeper, even though you know nothing of peace, you only understand a society where you control everything! A society of robots and objects that can be easily told what to do and what not, people don’t work that way! Especially not the Koopa!”

With that, I smashed the screen until that idiot’s face was gone. His words of peace were pretty at first, but over time they lacked substance. He would say that we needed peace, but it was almost like he didn’t understand the definition of it, couldn’t even tell me how to go about it. I was done with him.

Over time, I believe he began to build up his own following, using his hollow reasoning of peace to win some people over. We didn’t speak much after that point and very soon we became rivals, eventually enemies. Caught up in our own war, even after how much he stated he hated the feud between Mario and Sonic. What a hypocrite.

[Mr. Game & Watch]

Chapter 6:

Waluigi

Wheh, stupid pencil pusher get nothing out of Waluigi!

Wha? The Gang Wars? Waluigi’s not even involved with that overgrown phallus fight! Reporter has smaller brain than a Goomba! Waluigi’s not even allowed to join a side by law!

Wheh, and Waluigi would blow up that flat head’s statue up twice! What has that retro reject done that Waluigi hasn’t? Oh, but he gets a big Golden Statue! Wheh.

Wha? After that? Wheh, nothing that you’d get a full notepad out of! Waluigi was in prison for weeks after that. The most that happened was some old rollie pollie know-it-all visited Waluigi to ask the same questions that the reporters did then as well.

Go into detail? What does Waluigi look like to you? Some kind of story teller?

Is that real garlic?

… Waluigi will only tell you this once.

- - - Heavily edited and revised - - -

From what I can recall when I was imprisoned in that dastardly, yet well-kept and excellently staffed, brig, it was an evening like any other. I had just completed my masterful art piece of me tearing through –CENSORED-, since he was my mortal enemy from thence forth. It made my collection complete, I wish I still had that chiselled wall.

Anyways, I heard word that I was to get a visitor that day. Strangely, this time it was not some paparazzi wanting to know the reasoning behind my random act of violence. No, it was Dr. Eggman (I’m assuming since Waluigi has a tendency to use derogatory insults instead of names and coinciding reports prove this otherwise). He approached my cell, a very stern grimace on his countenance. It was surprising really, I had heard he turned a new leaf, but something appeared to be on his mind. It wasn’t like I cared all that much, I was busy trying to create a new work of art, this time out of Mr. Game & Watch.

“Wheh, Waluigi has no time for fat old men” I opened with, trying to act tough and hide the fact that I have real emotions.

The ovular mastermind wasn’t even fazed by my phrasing, he merely grasped at a nearby stool and sat opposite to me and my bars. It would appear that I was in for an earful. “Well, if that’s so then I suppose that I won’t speak for you in court. Enjoy the rest of your life as a trophy. I merely want to know more of your involvement with the Monumental Disaster” the clever villain battered back.

I thought on it for a moment. I had heard of his previous court case and considering that he was up for worse crimes than mine I figured that it was worth the shot. It wasn’t like anyone else would be standing up for me. “Fine then, what does fat head want to know?”

“You blew up the statue in the name of Bowser, right? The reports say that he ordered you to do it.”

“Wheh, Waluigi didn’t do it for Bowser. Waluigi did it for Bowser’s army. That gold would feed them for a good amount of time. Waluigi was supposed to be their hero! What did Waluigi get out of it?! Nothing!” I exclaimed as I threw away my carving stone in protest. I began to pace around my cell, riled up like a child who hadn’t gotten their way. The doctor still pensively watched me, his emotions disguised behind those sunglasses of his.

“You do realise that gold is more than useless on this planet right? It really has no use considering how sparse and inefficient of an element it is.”

“Wha!? Stupid son of a Koopa lied to Waluigi!” I shouted in outrage, flailing my arms around like loose noodles in the wind.

Eggman sat there, still as a bowling pin after the ball had already fallen into the gutter. Even in my rage, he kept composure, no doubt expecting me to get as riled up as I was. I didn’t care, I may be a slave to my emotions, but they were the kind that needed to be expressed. “So, you were merely a pawn in the whole operation. Just following the orders of someone else… Well, that was all I needed to know.”

Wheh, then four-eyes left. He was a wimp! Oh, poor Gang Wars Leader, he has emotions, bleh! Waluigi’s glad he wasn’t involved in any of that garbage! Between that pushover doctor and that backstabbing tortoise, Waluigi hopes they both lose!

Wha? Waluigi was a part of Bowser’s army! Bowser was the one that sent me after that statue to begin with!

Well, no. His stupid kid was the one that discussed the plan with Waluigi. Stupid spiky shell was also the one who recruited Waluigi.

Waluigi will be right back with you.