[Mari]

Finding the mall was ... Well it honestly wasn't very difficult. It was one of the bigger buildings around, understandably, and it wasn't like there were a bunch of malls in the middle of an apocalypse. Ashe stood waiting in front of the mall, posing with her stylish bodysuit fashion. ...Perhaps someone should put quotes around stylish there, but that was beside the point. She waved to Chell, flagging the other down once she arrived with a big smile on her face. "Chell! Over here." she called out.

"It's kind of big in there, so let's stick together. We can go shopping and stop for some lunch~ My treat?" Ashe offered. Sure, she had been almost-adopted back there at the hospital, but she wasn't about to let herself get babied--not without a bit of assertiveness anyway.

[Coolshaymin]

Chell walked her way towards the mall with her Companion Cube in hand... Well, she was not about to leave it at home to be stolen. The turret should be fine so she can just carry her Portal Gun and cube. It's not like either of them were considered weapons. They were more tools than anything else so it should be fine... Not that the Life Sphere seemed to have weapon restrictions to begin with.

Fortunately the mall was hard to miss... Not that Chell entirely knew that was what she was looking for. It has been a long while since she had the luxury of a mall. Ashe's call did help her identify it though so she quickly moved over towards her. Chell sat down the Companion Cube for a moment and listened to Ashe...

Her treat? Did she suggest she was going to pay for it?... Or that it was her snack... The latter seemed pretty absurd in context so Chell will assume the former... Is that what friends did? Pay for another's food? Parents/guardians/others do that too right?... Well, Chell did have an obligation... And she was not about to be tricked into being outfriended... Her antisocialness may be making her a tad too competitive for friendship.

"No," Chell began in argument. "I am the one that should be thanking you. It will be my treat," Chell counterargued firmly.

[Mari]

Ashe was taken by surprise by Chell's counteroffer. That was a pretty assertive choice of words, especially for a girl... They brought to mind one of those guys who only existed in cheesy romance novels, the ones who could tell you to get them a drink and you would--because like... How do you refuse someone whose voice literally radiated strength at you when they spoke? Apparently this verbal sorcery worked for girls too, as Ashe found herself becoming slightly flustered. She promptly flashed a big grin to hide this, running a hand over her hair and replying in a somewhat apologetic tone.

"

Alright, alright... Where should we go then, Chell~? There's electronics, clothes shopping... I hear there's a good pizza place that just opened up~

"

[Coolshaymin]

Chell watched Ashe for a moment after she put her foot down. Was that a look of flustering she had for a moment there? Did her affirmativeness get to Ashe? That was a tad cute but she hid it quickly. If it was not for how Chell had to observe her surroundings she may of not noticed. Regardless, she will ignore the act for a moment. She was probably brushing it off for a reason afterall.

Chell looked to the mall as Ashe let her pick their schedule. Well, she was a tad bit hungry... But she could use some clothes... The portable calling device can probably wait for now. "... Clothes first. Then we can eat before looking at the electronics," Chell suggested. She wanted to save the reason they came here for last even if it seems odd.

[Mari]

Arle giggled, glowing with appreciation as Chell correctly chose the right question on a test she hadn't even known she was taking. Because of course, what girl didn't love clothes shopping? It was like, a ritual or something! ...Well to be honest, it had been a while since Ashe had gone. Not since before Li, anyway. Anyone who didn't loathe shopping altogether would appreciate getting to check out a brand new store full of possibilities--wouldn't they?

"

Now you're talking my language~ Let's go see what's on sale!

"

Ashe would hold out her hand in offering to Chell. They probably didn't want to be seperated in the mall, if not because Chell being lost here probably resulted in a fight with the security guard. ...Mall cop? ...Mall guard? Dude with a stick? Once they got moving though, the sounds of a scream could be heard across the mall. Not far from the clothing shop, an explosive blast of clothes shout out of the store, breaking the window and sending a man flying across the hall. Ashe jumped in shock, her eyes widening as she leaned to get a better looking at what was going on.

...Within the store, a massive pile of clothes awaited. To Ashe's further alarm, it looked like the pile was ... moving! It spun and distended, forming the shape of a large, chubby golem, an abomination of fashion.

"

Whoah! ...Looks like we picked the wrong time to go shopping!

"

[Coolshaymin]

Ashe lost Chell on the whole 'on sale' thing. Was buying out stores something girls normally did because of discounted prices? It has been so long since she has been part of society she can't recall... Must be all the stasis those crazy Aperature robots put her through. That was probably why her memory was so foggy and why she can't really remember much of her past. How many years of her life did she lose again to GLaDOS?

Chell lost her train of thought when she noticed Ashe's hand. Was she offering to hold hands with her on the way there? Chell could not tell whether to be flattered or insulted. On one hand, it showed to one that has been isolated so long that Ashe did not have confidence in her ability to find things without being guided... Or she doubted her ability to not get in trouble so Ashe needed to keep her close... On the other hand they got to hold hands... And if that felt as close as a hug... Well, it showed she cared at least...

After a moment of hesitation Chell took Ashe's hand wordlessly. She did not seem to take her silent pondering as an issue. Chell was instantly distracted when there was a scream... and a guy being shot out by clothes. Then there was... some kind of clothes monster? Great, someone is clearly performing some weird experiment gone wrong. Why does it seem like public gathering places and her did the opposite of mix well?

Chell wordlessly sat down the Companion Cube and took the Portal Gun off her back without letting go of  Ashe's hand. She did not strike yet but she saw reason to make sure this pile of clothes did not strike them down too. She did not fire yet though... Don't want to be too hasty in case someone took badly to her massacuring clothes that have gotten too big for their britches.

[Mari]

Ashe just kind of stared in awe and a little bit of fear as the large clothing golen bashed it's way through the storefront, sending glass and mortar. Chell could feel the smaller girl's anxiety through her arm, her grip tensing as she reacted to the monster before them. It was then that Ashe noticed that Chell was preparing for a fight. Wh-What? Why was she--That was crazy! This thing was a 15 foot tall abomination and they were just normal girls!

...Ashe blinked.

No, wait. She was thinking of different people. She was a mega man and Chell was ... Chell. They were not normal girls. Carry on then. Ashe drew a buster pistol from her hip and moved to let go of Chell so that she could take aim with both hands.

"

Looks like we're going to have to fight for some peace and quiet around here. Are you ready, Chell?"

"

[Coolshaymin]

Chell closed her eyes in contemplation for a moment at Ashe's words. She always had to fight her way out of situations didn't she? Life or death over and over again with no sign of relief. Even a supposedly relaxing and enjoyable moment like shopping with a new friend could not put it on hold. That  gave her more reason to settle this quickly.

Chell gave her game face and showed a nod to Ashe. Chell had a decent plan to destroy this menace. Chell ran forward and did a sliding kick at the clothes golem. She then dropped down a bottle of orange gel that exploded and laid itself right under the Golem's feet. This slippery substance allowed Chell to slide forward a bit more but not only that, this may cause the Golem to be slightly unstable on his footing.

m7WF4is8p_1d20+2(Poor Slide Kick)
p_1d20+2(Propulsion Gel. Is capable to make foes standing on the orange gel to trip)
1d20+2·1d20+2

[Mari]

. . . The golem stepped forward. It ... actually didn't weigh very much! Probably because whatever was holding it together was also defying gravity. This made it difficult to trip the large creature, an admittedly grand plan. The clothing golem held out it's big arm and ... shot clothes at them. A storm of clothes rained over Chell and Ashe!

...When the clothes settled, Chell and Ashe would find that they the golem had played dressup with them. Chell was now wearing high heels and a poofy, dress that constricted her abdomen. Several thick scarves were wrapped around her shoulders. Ashe had already been wearing high heels, but now found herself wearing a pair of underwear on her head, blinding her. Somehow, the golem had managed to squeeze the mega girl into a suit that looked a little too big for her. It had padded shoulders, and the sleeves and hung over her hands and feet, threatening to trip her. Somehow, Ashe had come out of that looking even more ridiculous than Chell.

((Chell! You and Ashe are encumbered by your clothes! Your dex mod is lowered by two. You may remove the clothes using two of your three actions for the turn to cure yourself of this status effect.))

Ashe just sort of stared hesitated a moment as she tried to figure out what exactly was on her head. Was that... Oh ew! No! She promptly attempted to grab the underpants and pull them off, only for her floppy sleeves to block her grip. She wound up smacking herself in the face and stumbling backwards, at which point her floppy pants leggings tripped her, causing her to fall over with a yelp. Ashe... Ashe had seen better days. How humiliating.

Magical Clothes Golem
250 HP

Ashe Damage: 0% Shield Damage: 0% Status: Encumbered

[Coolshaymin]

Chell looked in annoyance as the clothes Golem was unaffected by the gel. She thought being clothes and all it would slip easier. Apparently that logic only applied to humans. Regardless she looked up and braced herself for an attack by clothes... And nothing happened?... Why was the room suddenly a lot hotter? And she felt a lot... heavier?... And breathing felt a little bothersome.

Chell looked down and her eyebrow raised and her eye twitched a little at the sight. Scarves, a tight dress, high heels that were way less functional than her fall proof ones... No one played dress up with her!... Except MAYBE Ashe but NO ONE else... Speaking of Ashe, did she get hit too? Chell plopped down a blue portal right in front of her before looking past the Golem to aim for the Companion Cube when she noticed...

And rolled her eyes. Ashe looked completely ridiculous with the underwear on her head. On top of that the oversized clothes it put her in. This thing had absolutely no fashion sense... And that came from the girl in ripped lab rat clothes and a jacket she borrowed from her friend over there looking like a fool. Chell just focused on the mission and shot an orange portal at the Companion Cube. An Orange Portal opened up and the Cube fell in and bounced out of the blue one. With quick timing Chell made to kick the cube at the Bad Fashion Sense Monster to try and knock it down with the force of the cube and the Slippery Gel.

dGigCKJ9p_1d20+2(Chell's Companion Cube Face Plant Jitsu. Deals 13%)

However, Chell kind of forgot something when kicking the Cube at the Golem. She was in constricting and heavy clothes and heels that were not as abstract as she was used to. She heard a click and a confused expression crossed her face. The next moment she fell to the floor as she knocked herself offbalance.
1d20+2

[Mari]

Meanwhile, while Chell was trying to balance in two sets of heels with disastrous results, Ashe just sort of thrashed in her outfit. Pls. Portal mom. Halp. Thankfully, she managed to slip her arms back into the suit and begin unbuttoning it from inside, removing the suit jacket and immediately taking the underwear off. She promptly threw the briefs as far as possible, her cheeks a bright shade of red. Finally, she dropped the pants.

Because who needed pants?

"What's the matter? Not a good fit?" the golem's booming voice asked. Apparently it could talk. How about that? Ashe rolled her eyes hard, waving one of her laser shots in the golem's general direction.

"

. . . Yeeaaah, I think I'll just go commando for now~

"

Just a moment after sassing the clothing golem's fashion sense, a companion cube slammed into the golem and ... just kind of blew a huge holes in it's body without moving it an inch. Apparently it wasn't solid either. Clothing began to shift and crawl back up it's body, regenerating it's form. Oh man, how would they defeat this great threat?? ...With guns, of course! Ashe promptly let loose a reflect shot at the golem.

c2HBrrTtp_1d20+5 (Ashe's Reflect Shot; Does 26% damage)

This too blew a sizeable chunk of its body away, but once again the golem simply began rebuilding itself with new clothes. Ashe was taken aback.

"

Uh oh. This thing seems pretty tough. How are we supposed to defeat something that can't die?

"

"No offense, but in that outfit you might as well throw in the towel~" the golem remarked, eliciting another flustered blush from Ashe. Hitting below the belt. Not cool yo. To Ashe's horror however, it wasn't just an attack on her self-esteem. The golem's arm began to twist tightly into a makeshift whip, which the golem promptly lashed out at the girls, attempting to strike them each in rapid succession!

((Ashe! Chell! You are being rat-tailed by a golem! It'll probably leave a nasty gash if it hits. Roll 14+ to dodge. Take 22% damage if it hits))

p_1d20+5 (Ashe's dodge)

A shriek escaped Ashe as the surprisingly legit rat-tail struck her on the shoulder, cutting into her and leaving a gash there. It looked like it stung a lot.

Magical Clothes Golem
211 HP

Ashe Damage: 22% Shield Damage: 0% Status: Normal

1d20+5·1d20+5

[Coolshaymin]

g7RNwEgpp_1d20

An audible groan filled the aisle in response to the bad pun that was issued... Who had the nerve to do a groan of pain in the battlefield... Oh right, it was the girl lying on the floor rolling her eyes. Chell did not seem to be a big fan of the terrible puns. She preferred this monster when it was a silent menace.

Okay, so bashing this thing was not working. She had to focus and find a weakspot. It seemed impossible to kill by smashing it and tripping it was not working. How do you kill clothes? Why, you incinerate them of course. Chell nimbly rolled out of the way out of the lashings and kicked off her high heels. She then unwrapped the scarves and laid them down. She then stood up and took off that stupid constraining dress. Ah, much easier to breathe now.

Chell relaxed for a moment before giving an angry glare at the Golem. It is true, clothes can not die, that would be ridiculous. What can clothes do though? Well, as iterated before, they can be turned to ash by fire. And Chell was about to illustrate that point as she pulled out a Fire Bar and ran forward before swinging through the golem with the weapon in an attempt to burn it to the ground. One of the fireballs on the bar disappearing at the end of the motion.

p_1d20+2( Critical Fire Bar Homerun! 36%)

Chell
Damage: 0%
Status: Angry
Equipment: Firebar (4 fireballs)

1d20·1d20+2

[Mari]

Whack! A sizeable chunk of the clothes golem was knocked away, collapsing into a smoldering pile against the opposite wall. Yet, even then the golem itself did not catch fire and began pulling itself back together. It turned out that all those nice clothes weren't as flamable as you'd think. The golem, threatened by the girls massive offensive, lifted a pair of ... antennae into the air? No--wait. Those weren't antennae. They were two size of a giant zipper.

Kingdom Hearts, is that you? But no, a giant zipper was likely the most terrifying weapon that didn't actually seem terrifying at first glance. The golem whipped its arms forward, the two halves of the zipper violently swinging closed around it's intended target... Chell. The sheer size of this made them incredibly painful should they pinch her body betwixt them, but even worse--if she found herself pinched, the large zipperhead would be quickly speeding towards her!

((Chell! Kingdom Hearts in its entirety is trying to destroy you! Roll 15+ to dodge. Failure results in a massive 60% damage being taken.))

6yo0B4mep_1d20+5 (Ashe's retaliatory Reflect Shot)

Meanwhile, Ashe flinched at the sight of that attack. That's messed up, yo. Even more distracting. When she went to shoot the golem it's body opened up to make way for her blast. Ashe recoiled slightly in distress as her reflect shot passed harmlessly through it.

"

Aaaah! How can something made up of nice things be so evil?!

"

Ashe seemed a tad intimidated by how much damage the clothing golem could take without so much as flinching or slowing down.

"I didn't get enough detergent as a child~" the golem replied on cue.

Magical Clothes Golem
165 HP
Kingdom Hearts Attack Cooldown: 5 turns remaining

Ashe Damage: 22% Shield Damage: 0% Status: Normal

1d20+5

[Coolshaymin]

uJkjfqf5p_1d20+2(Reversaling the Zipper)

Chell grew irritated as the clothes weren't ruined by her flames. What did one have to do to utterly destroy a clothes Golem? She was not keen on letting this menace on humor live for much longer. The only sense of humor she hated more than terrible puns was GLaDOS's Sarcasm... Yep, that insulting sarcasm was definitely number one on her most hated sense of humor. These puns did not come close to that but were irritating regardless... What was the monster doing again?

Oh right, forming two Zipper halves... And throwing them at her to try and close her in... Chell definitely knew what happened with those things and she was not keen on being zipped up. Chell jumped up the moment they were about to close and stood on them. Chell jumped over the Zipper Train and slashed at the Clothes Golem as she turned in the air before landing and attempting to thrust her Firebar right through the monster. Chell then threw the Firebar up to cut the clothes in half with fire, as meaningless as she realized it was. She used the momentum of the strike to backflip and give her some distance from the beast. The Fireballs were rapidly vanishing until she only had one left.

p_1d20+2(Firebar Back Hand Combo #1. 24% damage)
p_1d20+2(Firebar Thrust Combo #2. 24% damage)
p_1d20+2(Final Firebar Uppercut. 24% damage)

Chell
Damage: 0%
Status: Putting Clothes Puns on her List of Jokes to Die For
Equipment: Firebar (1 fireball)

1d20+2·1d20+2·1d20+2·1d20+2

[Mari]

Smoldering pieces of cloths rained down across the hallway as Chell managed to repeatedly strike the clothes golemn. Yet, once again new clothes from around its body simply moved to replace the old ones. However, this time, Ashe and Chell would likely become aware of something that wasn't quite right about this whole regenerating golem schtick.

"

Huh... Y'know what I just noticed? It's getting smaller~! Looks like this fashion disaster isn't so invincible after all!

"

"Disaster? That's rather harsh. I like to think of myself as avant-garde. Your style, on the other hand, ...is simply ghastly." the golem replied in a rather over the top flamboyant tone. Ashe just sort of flinched. Her expression twisted bitterly as the golem preyed upon her self-consciousness. She didn't normally lust for blood, but she was in a convenient position to take her anger out on the creature.

"

What are you talking about..? I'm not wearing anything..!

"

Ashe's tone was rather defensive. She didn't count her armor, or the perceived bodysuit, as clothes. She couldn't take the so-called bodysuit off, and the armor just didn't feel like clothes to her. Certainly not fashionable anyway. Oh I know. You cannot pull off that look. Lucky for you, I'm a walking talking wardrobe of wonder! ...also death." the golem continued to sass, insulting Ashe's physique while it was at it. This caused the teen to flinch a second time. It was like being verbally dropkicked in the self-esteem. On cue, the clothes golem once again launched a storm of clothes at the girls.

This time, Ashe came out of the storm wearing several layers of winter clothing that obstructed all but her eyes. So thick were the layers that Ashe found she could no longer put down her arms. Chell? ...She's now dressed like an Elvis impersonator.

((Chell! Same mechanics as last time. You take a -2 to your dex modifier and can remove this debuff by spending two of your three actions.))

"

W-What is it with you and my looks?! I can't stand people like you, always looking down on others!

"

The shout of frustration came from across the room. Ashe was sufficiently ticked off by the golem's continued remarks. "Why, because fashion is in every fiber of my being of course~!" the clothes golem responded, eliciting a groan on account of it's pun. It continued after a moment however, not waiting for a response. "I just despise girls who think they can wear whatever and still look good. Where is the beauty in that? Where is the effort? In a way, you've already killed me. You're only here to make the symbolic literal." the golem went on to remark in a somewhat more bitter tone. He seemed to have a rather fluid personality. From light hearted puns to cruel flamboyant sass to angst in a heartbeat.

"

...That's messed up. But I don't need your beauty tips. I have my pride.

"

On Cue, Ashe explosively ripped free of her bindings in one fluid motion, shredding the clothes to the golem's horrified shrieks. The symbolism was too much for it, apparently. Ashe then corrected her aim with her laser shot and fired off a single reflect shot at the golem.

LuWpDsgtp_1d20+5 (...But it misses)

Magical Clothes Golem
93 HP
Kingdom Hearts Attack Cooldown: 4 turns remaining

Ashe Damage: 22% Shield Damage: 0% Status: Normal

1d20+5