[Mr. Game & Watch]

The lights slowly dimmed until the room was rendered pitch black. While nothing could be seen, the movement of the velvet curtains were audible enough that the audience could sense that the show was about to begin.

The sound of pulleys entered the auditorium. It ceased when a circular cardboard cut out was positioned in the top right corner of the stage. It glowed like the moon, but this only revealed its putrid face. The glow of Majora’s Moon illuminated the stage below just enough to cast shadows of familiar buildings from within the Sunshine Circle.

At center stage was a shadowy amorphous blob, a crowd of people shrouded in darkness. They stood completely still, until a spotlight shone upon them. It was a variety of Life Sphere citizens, Chaos, Koopas, Kremlings, Space Pirates, all dressed as different historical figures from the Life Sphere’s past. They all had their faces directed toward the ground, though their bodies were facing stage right. They began to sway at the sound of drums.

“Look down, look down,
Don’t look into its creepy eyes.
Look down, look down.” they all chanted in unison.

A Kremling dressed in a blue suit and a helmet akin to Megaman X’s rose above his peers, pointing to the moon.

“The Starvia has come to destroy us all!
Nay, my brothers, we cannot fall!
It isn’t the moon alone!
It comes with troops of its own!”

Purple goo would then spurt from an area off stage, in the same general area near the moon, hitting a glass pane held above the actors and the models of the Life Sphere buildings.

“Look down, look down.”

The Kremling knelt and chanted along with the rest of the group. Another actor took the opportunity to rise, a Koopa dressed as a worm.

“Oh! They’ll overwhelm us!
Who could possibly help us!?”

On stage left was a miniature replica of Samus’ laboratory. On cue with the worm’s plea for help, a door on the upper level of Samus’ lab opened. Smoke was first to exit, followed by the familiar figure of Samus’ suit, albeit, significantly shorter than the real version. It looked like it was designed specifically for a toad. A choir of angels silenced the drums from the previous song, transitioning to a more opera-oriented tempo. Samus walked to the very edge of the platform and drew in the attention of the other actors below.

“Citizens of the Life Sphere.
There is no reason to live in fear.
Just listen and follow my direction
And we will stop this insurrection.
Please retreat into the city, hide
My secret weapon will leave all of them fried!
It may take some time before its ready to pop…
Wait, you there, hedgehog, stop!”

During Samus’ solo, a Space Pirate dressed in all black save for his white gloves and red-tipped head spines stood up from the crowd and defiantly walked towards stage right. Upon being called out, a spotlight singled him out. The crowd of actors gasped. The renegade turned his head slowly to face Samus.

“Continue your speeches!
Give time to those leeches!
I will fight the Starvia face to face
With or without your grace!
The front gate will be the first to fall
Any of you brave enough, heed my call!”

Most of the crowd remained low to the ground, but a few rose in a heroic pose; a chao covered from head to toe in a black morph suit wielding a hammer; a koopa wearing a police uniform wielding a rocket launcher; and a goomba with red and gray metallic armour branded with the symbol for gamma. Before any of the actors could step forward, the music began to flare and the Samus actor marched through the crowd, making a b-line directly to the Shadow actor.

“You know nothing of Starvia!
You have no kind of data.
You’ll get yourselves infected!
Perhaps your brain has defected!”

Both the Samus and Shadow actors were pointing at each other furiously, no doubt ready to express their distaste for one another in song, however, a green figure descended from the sky. It was an exact replica of A.I.M., strung up by wires that were lowering the unmoving model toward the ground. As it landed, the cardboard flames underneath its thrusters folded up. A barely noticeable stage hand rushed behind the A.I.M. replica and positioned it between the Samus and Shadow actors. A flourish of sad violins arose.

“Creator Samus, for the sake of the Life Sphere
Some of us must remain here.
The gates will not take anymore
Our lives must be traded for yours” a voice rang from behind the statue, one with heavy amounts of auto-tune.

The Shadow actor crossed his arms and turned to the audience, while the Samus actor gently touched the side of the A.I.M. replica’s face.

“A.I.M., you are my greatest creation
It’s in your programming, you can’t be mistaken.
When all this is through
We must regroup
After you crush those cretons
Release your beacon!”

The replica’s head tilted up and down thanks to the stage hand behind it. Nodding back, the Samus actor ran back to her lab. A majority of the crowd of actors raced off to stage left, leaving the actors for Shadow, Mr. Game & Watch, Gamma, and Leon on stage. Following the Shadow actor’s lead, they raced off to stage right. The curtains closed.

~~INTERMISSION~~

When the curtains reopened, the setting was altered to resemble the gates outside of the Life Sphere. Stage left had the gate in question while the remainder was a barren wasteland. There were six actors dressed as Primids. Half were shambling toward the gate, while the others were bashing their fists against it.

Suddenly, the gates burst open, the Primids at the door being quickly pulled back by their harnesses like they were being flung out of the way. Once they were off stage though, a dozen more came rustling in from stage right. Out from the gate flew a balled-up Shadow, being flung across stage by the wires holding him up. The stage hands managed to mimic the motion of the homing attack, the Primid actors prat falling whenever Shadow got near.

The other actors came storming out of the gate, though Leon’s actor just ran directly across the stage, disappearing from sight after exiting through stage right.

A.I.M.’s replica was stationed at the mouth of the gate. The stage hand behind the statue would run at the Primids, a red ribbon trailing behind him to replicate A.I.M.’s laser blasts. The stage hand even made “pew pew” noises.

The Mr. Game & Watch actor was incredibly difficult to make out. In fact, it was easier to see A.I.M.’s stage hand running around the stage. Occasionally a Primid actor would fall over and if an audience member had a good sense of sight, they might see his black mallet swinging around.

Gamma’s actor was outfitted with pop guns that sparked whenever he fired off a shot. Most of the time sparks were flying off his person, a concerning amount actually. Smoke was arising from his costume after three shots.

The music flared in a sort of action movie styling.

“I’m never gonna catch my breath!”

“Say goodbye to those who knew me!”

“These monsters have them scared to death!”

“BLEEP BLOOP BLOOP BOOP BEEP!”

One of the Primid actor runs onto stage with a wooden sabre painted purple from the tip to the grip. He heads directly for Gamma and jabs it forward, catching it directly into the actor’s armpit. Gamma’s actor fell to his knees.

Before the Primid could finish Gamma off, the Shadow actor rebounded off the space above the Primid’s head, causing it to prat fall. The Shadow actor uncoiled himself and the stage hands lowered his suspension wires so that he was on solid surface again. He kneeled at Gamma’s side. The violin solo returned.

“Old friend, Samus was right
Because of me, you’ll all die in this fight…”

“Shadow… This is how it must be
I will self-destruct, you must flee.
I will not be alone though
With me these infected will gooooooooooo!”

Shadow and Gamma’s actors exchange a brotherly handshake before he returns to his feet and runs off stage left. Presumably, Mr. Game & Watch follows. A.I.M.’s replica is the last to go, being pulled in by a stage hand by the head. The gate firmly closes.

The Primid actors swarm around Gamma’s fallen body. As they do though, a couple of stage hands bolt onto the stage and flap flame coloured sheets around the stage as an explosive sound effect echoes across the auditorium. The curtains close once more.

~~INTERMISSION~~

[Mr. Game & Watch]

When the curtain rolled back once more, it revealed a rather generic looking alleyway within the Life Sphere. The backdrop depicted the grinning moon much closer than it was previously, with cracks beginning to show in the shield it was impacting against. A large purple glob fell from the top of the stage, splashing on the ground as an actor quickly crawled across the stage so that it appeared as though he was emerging from the glob. The actor was dressed up as one of Andross’ minions.

“At very long last, I’m in the sphere!
Now, it is time to spread-”

“Chaos Spear!”

A yellow ribbon entered from stage right, speedily flapping until it touched the actor, who promptly performed a prat fall.

The Shadow actor stormed onto the stage, closely inspecting the corpse he freshly made. A.I.M.’s replica was plopped onto the stage and it could be assumed that Mr. Game & Watch was somewhere as well.

“Wha!? Starvia, but how did it get here?
Aren’t we supposed to be protected by this sphere?” Shadow questioned in song as he turned to A.I.M. for answers.

“The moon challenges the shield’s integrity.
If the Starvia continues to leak, it won’t be pretty!”

A stage hand moved A.I.M.’s replica to center stage. The lights all around began to dim, save for a spotlight fixed on the statue’s chassis. It glowed with great ambiance, like the heavens were focusing all its power to illuminate the robot. A choir began to sing soothingly in the background.

“This beacon will shine the brightest,
Creator Samus, we need your guidance!
If the Life Sphere’s barrier falls
There will be no one left to recall!
Please hurry, there is no more time
You must use your cannon even if its not prime…” the distressed robotic voice called out into the night.

On cue, the light of the beacon faded and Shadow’s actor began to stumble, as though an earthquake had hit him. A.I.M.’s statue was being knocked around as well, but the movements weren’t as clear. More of the purple goo began to leak along the backdrop, which thankfully meant that Mr. Game & Watch’s actor was finally discernable from the background.

As the goop continued to flow, a large cardboard cut out of an ape’s face descended from above, followed by a pair of disembodied hands. The face was held up by a couple strings, but its lower jaw was a separate piece entirely, like a puppet. A generic laugh sound effect played as the puppet’s lower jaw bobbed up and down. A zanier orchestra revved up in accordance.

“Ha ha ha! You feeble minded fools!
Your end is near, you hide no more, you play by my rules!
Master Hand, Crazy Hand, Tabuu?
No, no, it will be I who owns you!”

Shadow’s actor stood his ground in the face of his new enemy. He confidently threw his hand out, a stream of ribbons following. The ribbons fly toward the Andross puppet, but he intercepts with a swipe of his disembodied hand. Afterwards, his puppet hands began to bob to and fro in a rhythmic motion, like he was dancing.

“Yes, yes, my plan is without fail!
Soon the moon will break your walls so frail!
Andross will be king, my infected will accept no less
But please, try to kill me, do your best!” The villain taunted, followed by a series of exaggerated puppet laughs.

Shadow’s actor looked to his hands in shock, what could possibly be done? Mr. Game & Watch on the other hand, his fist was pasted to his chin, an advanced thinking pose. With time, the morph suited chao jumped with inspiration, pointing its nub hand to the sky. He promptly ran off stage.

“Grr! He ditched us that two bit creep!” Shadow lamented with a bolded fist.

“BWOOP BWOOP BWEEP!”

As Mr. Game & Watch’s ringing echoed through the auditorium, the stage shook violently. More cardboard cut outs emerged from both ends of the stage, these ones in the shape of tentacles. They hovered over Andross as his puppet mouth fell agape.

“No! What form of sorcery is this!?
It matters not, you will never spot my weakness!”

Suddenly, from the rafters descended another Space Pirate, this one dressed in blue overalls and a green hat. His suspension wires ceased him at the dome of puppet Andross’ head, making it look like he was stood atop of him

“Weegee here.”

Luigi’s actor tapped Andross on the head. Luigi’s suspension wires slowly pulled him back up, making it look as though he rebounded off Andross’ head like a Goomba.

“Weegee gone” he continued as he disappeared into the ether that was off-stage.

Andross’ puppet mouth flailed about in agony. All his disembodied pieces shook with weakness.

“Impossible my plan was sound!
Woah is Andross, I return to the ground!” the puppet blustered weakly as his wires were released. All of his pieces flopped onto the stage like the frail cardboard he was made of.

An ominous tune follows the fall of the villain. Shadow’s actor dramatically kneels over the fallen pieces of cardboard.

“Is it over? Have we won?”

A stage hand quickly ran on stage to move A.I.M.’s replica so that it stood next to Shadow’s actor. He struggled to move the statue’s arm at first, but it finally gave way, allowing him to place a hand on Shadow’s shoulder.

“No. There is still more to be done.”

With the addition of a sad little tune, the lights dimmed to better sell the dramatic scene. The curtains closed.

~~INTERMISSION~~

The curtains opened to the first stage setup, though there were some minor differences. The moon was bigger and closer, digging directly into the glass pane that was in place to denote the Life Sphere’s shield. It was cracking, with purple goop leaking through. On the other side of the stage was Samus’ laboratory, though now it was sporting a giant paper mâché cannon, aimed squarely at the cut out of the moon.

The Samus actor entered from the door at the second story of her lab, gazing at the moon. She removed her helmet, needing to adjust the blond wig that was struggling to hide the mushroom cap underneath. A dramatic tune began to play.

“Oh sinister moon, grin your last grin
Your very existence is a cardinal sin!
You can threaten us no longer,
With the help of my invention you will be a goner!” Samus spat with a bubbling hatred.

The Samus actor slapped the data pad on her arm cannon. Immediately, the glass pane opened like a latch, allowing the moon to descend into the Life Sphere. She quickly flung herself onto the cannon replica, pressing all the fake buttons with great importance. All of her struggles resulted in a puff of confetti spouting out of the cannon’s barrel, smattering sparkly bits all over the moon’s face.

The moon shook wildly, until it suddenly burst into flames, with the help of a lighter just off stage. Like it was covered in gunpowder, the moon was quickly reduced to ashes.

The Samus actor fell to her knees, making sure to hold on to the wig.

The Space Pirate dressed as Shadow subtly paced onto the stage, looking at the floor before him before gazing up at Samus. The violin solo resumed.

“Victory is finally ours, but at what cost?
They might have been the villains, but I am behind so much loss.
Fallen friends under my command
I am no better than a firebrand…” Shadow wept with his deep manly voice.

The Samus actor stood upright once more, looking down upon the weeping Shadow.

“Shadow, you must fail before you succeed.
Understand that it is not easy to lead.
The Life Sphere is safe once more,
But who knows when they’ll be back at our door?
I bid you adieu
But don’t think we are through.”

The Samus actor turned about and walked back into her lab with composure, leaving Shadow on the streets alone with a spotlight trained on him. The lonesome hedgehog remained with his head lowered, like a man trapped in deep thought. The curtain closes.

An uproarious applause echoes through the theatre as the lights slowly illuminate the rest of the room. A cheery tune bombards the sound system as the curtains open yet again, revealing all of the actors lined up side by side. They link up their hands and bow to the audience in unison. It caused a flourish of whistles and “woos.”