[Maverick Hunter Zero]

It was definitely one of those days that when one would look in the mirror and find oneself looking at someone else's reflection instead of their own. That was indeed the case when it came to Zero, so much so that he was seen by the crowd going to the sunshine stadium as they cheered him on hoping for a similar victory like that with Mr. L, considering that the two of them matched each other blow for blow and it was an exhilarating fight to enjoy.

The stadium was packed with many an onlooker alongside a few stray koopas, kremlings, and egg pawns; some of them actually carrying digital video recorders to upload onto a DVD player, while Zero stood in the arena, his back to the door his opponent would be coming through for the match, his eyes closed in thought.

[Mari]

((Mr. Game & Watch Maverick Hunter Zero Tagging for convenience))

Kelsey meandered her way out onto the arena floor. She was a relative newcomer to the arena, being a good law abiding girl who couldn't fight most of its contestants. This time, she'd been assured her opponent wouldn't be human, however, and she was looking forward to some semblance of training. That is... until she saw who she was actually up against. ...Zero?! The Legendary SA rank Maverick Hunter? Kelsey could feel a silent scream waiting to be released. Why didn't they just match her up against X while they were at it?! She clearly didn't stand a chance either way.

If sweating was a thing robots did, Kelsey would probably be sweating up a storm. The thoroughly intimidated reploid met Zero at the center of the arena, stopping at a distance of about 5 meters away. "...It's a wonderful afternoon for a show." Kelsey remarked, speaking softly and averting her eyes.

[Mr. Game & Watch]

It would seem that the only time there is peace within the Life Sphere was when a Sunshine Stadium match was announced. It was somewhat ironic in that way. Whilst the sides of the Gang Wars were still steaming and preparing for war, hearing that Zero was going to be facing yet another opponent in the ring ceased the infighting to the point that some could clearly see Koopas and Kremlings sitting next to each other in the stands. Some were conversing, even looking like they were having the time of their lives before either combatant came into sight.

In good time though, the duelists made their presence known. The mutterings of the crowd came to a close and as each fighter wandered onto the battlefield, the sideliners began an uproarious applause that lasted for quite a bit of time. It was soon interrupted by an explosion erupting from one of the back isles, luckily there was no one seated in the particular area. From the smoke and soot emerged the Lightning American, Lt Surge.



He causally strolled away from the destruction, a Magnezone following close behind. “There was no trace left of that sunglass wearing monkey, right?” he asked as his head twisted to the side. The floating machine bobbed up and down as though it was nodding. “Good, no more interruptions then.”

The Gym Leader eventually made his way to the center of the coliseum, a stoic frown slapped across his countenance as his shielded eyes gazed upon the duo that were scheduled to fight. “I want a good clean fight. Zero, you probably already know the rules like the back of your hand, but I’m gonna tell ‘em anyways. First off, the two of you get five bouts to show off what you got. You get no outside help from items or other people. Lastly, there is no killing allowed. If I see either one of you try anything funny, you’ll get a swift tunderbolt where the sun don’t shine” the ex-commando drilled as though he was speaking to low ranking soldiers, pacing back and forth as he did.

The stern man then pulled an iron out of his pocket and held it in the air. “If that is understood, then let the carnage commence. Magnezone!” as he called out for his Pokemon, the creature directed its magnetic field toward the iron and the muscly man zipped out of the arena.

[Maverick Hunter Zero]

{theme playing: Sandstream(Hyrule Warriors)}
Zero turned to face the young reploid with a rather calm gaze, his eyes showing something akin to what was known as recognition for his skill as a maverick hunter.

"indeed it is, especially since this is the first time I've ever met a new hunter." zero said, the thoughts of his first love interest, who he had pretty much killed in X4, were pushed to the back of his mind as Lt. Surge entered the arena.

Zero indeed knew how the rules worked and gave Surge the thumbs up as his knowing them like the back of his hand, drew out his Z-Saber, and got ready to fight, and when the signal was given, zero did not hesitate, he immediately launched an attack by throwing the first punch of the match, courtesy of his own fist.
STR ROLL: 12+1=13{decent punch with an actual d20, as you can easily see that I'm posting this on my smartphone and the SDR is not in play.}

Zero would hope that his opponent knew the difference between learning to block and learning to dodge considering that his first fight in who knows how long was a show of 1-upmanship against a human.

{first punch against a fellow reploid.}

(GW: Roll 12 DEX to dodge, or use Bubble Shield or whatever)

[Mari]

vuogEV7_p_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Sidestep)

The research reploid managed to shift to the side just in the brink of time to dodge Zero's punch, her eyes widening in awe as his fist passed just an inch from her body. ...Had he just... tried to punch her? The irony was thick, but Kelsey supposed she liked these odds a lot better than being on the opposite end of the weapon she'd been expecting--Zero's sword. In fact, fisticuffs was an area of combat she was quite ...comfortable in, one could say. It was her home turf, her best friend ...her primary method of combat.

Kelsey's eyes shifted to Zero and she promptly lunged forward, her own fist raising as she attempted to use Zero's momentum against him and slug the legendary reploid right in his face. Her punches had a bit of an... explosive punch to them. Literally. As if they were being explosively propelled forward. Actually, that's exactly what was happening. The popping sound of a jet coming to life could be heard moments before she literally threw her punch.

p_1d20+4 (Kelsey's Super Fist! Does 14% if it hits)

Kelsey's fist would promptly return to her shortly after being fired, re-attaching to her arm. She would then use the momentum afforded to her by her first punch to step forward and attempt a second with her other arm! It was already pulled back by virtue of her having twisted to throw her first punch, allowing her to quickly throw it just moments after the first. This time, she was prepared for her fist to chase Zero if he had moved away.

p_1d20+4 (Kelsey's other Super Fist! Does 14% if it hits)

(GW: Roll 9 DEX to dodge first attack, if it hits roll 18 DEX to dodge next attack, otherwise roll 16 DEX. Or use Bubble Shield)1d20-2·1d20+4·1d20+4

[Mr. Game & Watch]

“What a surprise, that Existence Orb gig turned out to be a bust… Bleh, whoever was here last fudged with our setup.”

“AH HA HA HA! Welcome to today’s match, ladies and germs! Yes, you heard right! The Master of Catastrophe himself has made his inevitable return, and as always, my stylish sidekick, Big Top!”

“…Well, you know, besides the times you replaced me with some other comedic foil, but whatever…”

“Big Top, I can’t hear you over your ellipses! Anyways, you folks at home, do we ever have an exciting duo! The mysterious Maverick Hunter has once again returned to the ring to try and claim his spot at number 1! The real question now is, could he possibly stand a ghost of a chance against Roll!?”

“…Who?”

“Big Top! How rude of you to not even take five seconds to research our staring combatant! That’s Spark Mandrill’s sister, Roll!”

“…I don’t believe a single word you have said. How do robots have sisters?”

“Big Top! You can’t just be throwing that slur around! They prefer to be called Reploids!”

“I don’t know what those are.”

“Me neither! The least you can do is pretend to respect them, Big Top!”

“Mmm… No…”

“Come on! Look at them locking into a battle of fisticuffs! Just think of the raw feeling of metal against metal! It’s so visceral! You can almost feel it! Can’t you feel it, Big Top!?”

“… Are you sure they’re made of metal? They have some fleshy looking faces…”

“Of course they are! All Reploids are made of metal! Have you ever met one that wasn’t!?”

“…You know, whenever you say something I usually assume that the opposite is true…”

“And I love you for that, Big Top!”

[Maverick Hunter Zero]

DEX ROLL A: 14{fair enough dodge.}
DEX ROLL B: 4{that roll was stale...}

Zero would easily take into account that his opponent was a melee specialist, taking the first actual hit in the match, luckily it was to the side of his face rather than the command Crystal on the helmet, everyone who watched that one cutscene in megaman X4 knew that that particular area was the place sigma hit zero which in turn would turn sigma into the maverick leader as a result.

"that's one way to start a good fight, I might have to get physical myself." zero said, his adrenaline pumping as he activated his absolute zero transformation, turning from the the one who waluigi would call 'megaman's girlfriend' into what was best described as a fanfic novel gone wrong, zero however did not let that bother him as he gave Kelsey a smile to show his respect, then tries a short combo of his own without attempting to go over the combo limit.
DEX ROLL C: 14{good frigid phantasm With a 30% chance to freeze.(19% if it connects}
STR ROLL A: 16+1=17{awesome brutal right.(10%)
STR ROLL B: 20+1=21{CRITICAL killer left of savagery!(10%)

{I hope you like my use of the 3-hit combo}

(GW: Roll 13 DEX for Frigid Phantasm, roll 15 DEX for second attack, and roll 18 DEX for final attack. Or use Bubble Shield)

[Mari]

Kelsey recoiled slightly at the sight of Zero's transformation, her eyes widening as she beheld ... that. It would probably have been disturbing to her too ... if animalistic reploids weren't such a common phenomenon. Yet, this form had her confused. What functional purpose did it serve? There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but only one managed to escape her synthetic lips betwixt the flurry of active combat. "What's up with the new look?" she asked awkwardly.

aV38SIfIp_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Dodge)
p_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Second Dodge)

The martial reploid then proceeded to perform two spot on spot dodges, deftly shifting between Zero's attacks with alarming flexibility. However, all good dances had an end and hers came at Zero's last attack. Not the fastest reploid, Kelsey was forced to take a blow--or she would have been, had she not had a backup plan. A ruby red bubble shield emerged around her, taking the attack with great force. It seemed to cave inwards when shrunk, shrinking to over half it's size in response to the blow. When the bubble fell, Kelsey staggered backward to put some distance between herself and the other, pulling her hands back and striking a pose that would be familiar to those that had played any number of fighting games. Her hands were cupped behind her and her expression was one of concentration. A blue'ish white aura began to radiate from her body, a visible expression of her hadou manifested.

"Vacuum... Hadoken!" Kelsey shouted, thrusting her arms forward and launching a blast of concentrated fighting spirit. The energy ball seemed to have a strong gravity effect, drawing foes into it's path if they weren't very careful. Not that anyone would notice, but the attack had taken a tole of its own upon Kelsey's body.

p_1d20+7 (Kelsey's Vacuum Hadoken; Does 24% Damage if it hits)

Shortly after launching the mighty Shinku Hadoken, Kelsey extended one of her arms to the side her hand retracted to reveal an arm cannon. She did not aim the cannon at Zero however, hinting that it wasn't quite what it appeared to be. A large, person sized bubble formed at its tip, filled with a misty plasma. For now, the bubble did nothing. It did not appear to move on its own, little more than an obstacle one could easily avoid.

Kelsey
3% Damage
25% Shield Damage
Status: Awakened Kelsey (2 Turns Left)
Hadoken Cooldown: 1 Turn Left

(GW: Roll 17 DEX to dodge or use Bubble Shield)1d20-2·1d20-2·1d20+7

[Mr. Game & Watch]

“WOAH! It looks like the match is getting heated, Big Top! Or should I say cooler!?”

“…No”

“C’mon, Big Top, that’s classic comedy 101! Zero’s throwing out all he’s got, but it looks like Roll’s one step ahead of the Maverick Hunter. Who do you think has the edge here, Big Top?”

“Can we get confirmation on the opponent’s name before you keep spouting it out like that?”

“That doesn’t answer my question! The audience needs to hear our opinions so that they can then make their own! And by that I mean they replicate what we say and think that it is their personal opinion, when in fact they have no independent thought of their own.”

“That is an oddly jagged outlook coming from you…”

“Is it?! Hrm, I might need to rethink my thought process.”

“…What were we talking about?”

“My bets are on Zero! Wait, no! That would mean that I want the other combatant to lose! Hrm, that means the best outcome is a tie! Then they both win!”

“…Well, they would also both lose…”

“Nonsense! When Kursed and Mr. Game & Watch tied they both won!”

“Yeah, I bet if you asked the flat man himself he would be so happy to tell you how he won that match.”

“Poppy phallus! He doesn’t speak English!”

[Maverick Hunter Zero]

DEX ROLL: 18{impressive}

Zero walked to the left as the hadouken came at him, impressed that Kelsey could keep up with him. "Color me impressed, and here I thought I was capable of having a good time. But to let you know, there will come a time when you have to fight humans. That came to me because of a human wanting to destroy all of humanity; to quote the zeroth law: 'a robot must never harm humanity, or by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm.' I guess I should be thankful that my creator never made me to be compliant with the the three laws, I make them my oath." Zero said, giving a very rare smile, then lunged forward and delivered an attack complete with awesome shout-out to ryu of street fighter. "SHOURYUUKEN!"
STR ROLL: 6+1=7{19% damage, 15.5% freeze chance since Kelsey is not in the air.}

{shout-out to both street fighter and Isaac Asimov.}

(GW: Roll 6 DEX to dodge, or use Bubble Shield)

[Mari]

h45nBfXqp_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Scrapin' By Dodge)

Kelsey deftly side stepped the shoryuken, slipping aside just barely in time to let the fist glide past her face. It was a good thing she didn't have sweat glands, because these attacks were repeatedly too close for comfort. Then again, at least he wasn't using his sword. That was something she could take comfort in. Zero's words however made Kelsey very uncomfortable.

"...Neither I nor the federation recognizes the existence of any 'zeroth' law. And by the sound of it, that's for the best." Kelsey replied in a matter-of-fact tone. "To deem us the judges of what is best for humanity creates a non-liquet where a reploid can pick and choose freely when to obey the other laws. None of that was in the oath of honor I took when I was recruited into the force." Kelsey went on to explain, testily circling around the other as she prepared to re-engage Zero. It was disturbing, thinking that Zero had chosen to associate himself with such a law. If this had been another time and place, she might have had to arrest Zero on the spot for displaying maverick-like behavior, or at the very least file a report.

Yet... Here and now, in Li, who was she supposed to report him to? If she arrested him, a terrifying prospect to begin with, where was she supposed to take him? ...Kelsey shook the despair from her mind. She missed when protecting humanity had been simpler.

Focusing back in on the fight, Kelsey lunged forward and attempted to strike Zero with one of her explosively propelled fists! She was attempting to knock him into the plasma bubble she had previously created, which would cause it to pop explosively and unload its contents onto Zero if she hit her mark.

p_1d20+5 (Kelsey's Superfist! Does 14% damage and knocks Zero into Kelsey's plasma bubble if it hits for an additional 15% damage, plus a 30% chance of burn)

Using her momentum to her advantage, Kelsey caught her fist and moved to pursue the legendary reploid! She once again lunged out, this time attempting to tackle Zero to the ground! She needed him right where she wanted him for her next move--underneath her, and to that end she tried to pin Zero down with one hand and her weight long enough to get her next attack off.

p_1d20+1 (Kelsey's critical grapple!)

Kelsey then proceeded to pull her free arm back, a flame-like blue'ish white aura forming about it that signaled her next attack. Assuming she was successful in pinning Zero down, her fist was heading for his chest. Else, it was heading for the ground. Either way, an explosion of hadou was soon to follow on impact. "Misooogi!" Kelsey called out mid-punch.

p_1d20+5 (Kelsey's Misogi! Does 24% damage if Zero is grappled, but only 12% if he isn't)

Kelsey
3% Damage
15% Shield Damage
Status: Awakened Kelsey (1 Turns Left)

(GW: Roll 17 DEX to dodge Super Fist, roll 18 DEX to avoid grapple or 18 STR to break, and roll 15 DEX to dodge Misogi if grappled, if not, roll 12 DEX to dodge. Or use Bubble Shield.)1d20-2·1d20+5·1d20+1·1d20+5

[Mr. Game & Watch]

“Ah, mid-battle chatter, if butterflies were capable of singing I bet you it would sound no different! Such music to my ears!”

“…They would sound like two people debating the laws of robotics?”

“Probably. You see, Big Top, butterflies don’t live for very long, so they would have to communicate what’s on their mind all the time! Or, at least they would if they could talk! But hey, you’re a hat that can talk, so who knows!?”

“Was this conversation going anywhere?”

“Of course! I was masterfully deterring the conversation so that we could Segway to our special guest for tonight’s matchup! ”

“Ah yes, such an excellent and not at all contrived Segway, bravo…”

“Welcome to our resident expert on Zero, and creator of his number one fan club, Waluigi!”

“Wha ha ha! Yes, Waluigi is number one fan. Waluigi make the ‘Zero is Number Zero’ club”

“So, what motivated you to make such a fan club, Waluigi!?”

“Oh, big mouth remembers when Waluigi blew up Flat Face’s statue, right? Well, Megaman’s sister down there turned Waluigi into Life Sphere Police HQ. Waluigi owed stupid robot for that.”

“Excellent! Excellent! Could you tell the listeners at home a little bit about Zero in case they aren’t familiar with who he is?”

“Wheh heh heh, Waluigi would be more than happy to. Stupid audience know who Dr. Wily is, right? Well, word has it he had an ultimate creation, the android that would put all the others to shame. When he made this being, he dumped blondie down there at a nearby landfill and forgot he ever existed. Now dumb machine is here and pretending that he was a big deal where he came from. It’s sad really. Waluigi almost feel bad for it, but it would be like feeling bad for a burnt out toaster.”

“Woah! I never knew that about Zero! All this time I thought he was some kind of Maverick Hunter!”

“Nope, all lies. Waluigi knows the truth. Ol’ Gear Butt is big time phony!”

“Oh yes, I’m very certain this guy is a credible source…”

“Of course he is, Big Top! He runs the Life Sphere’s only Zero based fan club! What can you tell us about his opponent!?”

“It would be nice if we could at least get a reference to their name… Though he probably won’t know it either…”

[Maverick Hunter Zero]

Zero had to keep his mind on the battle against his opponent, it was clear to him that he didn't want to get annoyed by the taunting of Waluigi, to the point that he attempted to dodge the superfist...
DEX ROLL A: 5{that fist connects}
CON ROLL: 19+2=21{burn is resisted decently enough.}

The fist did make an impact and pushed him into the conspicuously placed energy ball, which did little to phase Zero let alone burn him, he then saw an outstretched hand attempt to grab him, and he knew what needed to be done.
DEX ROLL B: 19{ducked under the grapple}

Zero instinctively ducked under the hand that tried to grab him and...
DEX ROLL C: 15{Misogi misses its target}

Backflipped out of the way of the incoming Misogi to land on his feet, Zero then looked out at the commentary booth, then rose up so that he was level with it, the look in Zero's eyes was one of purest loathing that it could make even one such as Waluigi piss his pants 10,000 times over.
CHA ROLL: 19{Death Glare directed to Waluigi that cannot be countered by any form of malicious trolling whatsoever}

Zero would then take a deep breath and let loose a sigh of relief that he was still fighting Kelsey instead of Waluigi, as he then dropped down to the ground and reverted to his original form of the crimson armored reploid. Waluigi was only half right in the regarding of his origins, but not even Kelsey knew of the pain he was holding back, Zero had indeed displayed maverick behaviour upon his awakening by a few reploids, which he personally scrapped, but then came Sigma and everything changed when that guy punched him so hard that zero fell unconscious from it, and sigma becoming the monster responsible for all the torment he put humanity through.

The presence of the Z-Saber back in his hands was enough to keep him calm despite these facts, especially since he had no choice but to kill his love interest, Iris. "Lets just get this fight done, I've got some old wounds to bury..." were the only words Zero spoke, and without any warning, closed the gap between them to unleash his combo.

He would first unleash his punch on Kelsey with the intent to send her into a wall.
STR ROLL A: 8+1=9{poorly delivered punch, 10% damage if it connects}

Then followed up with the infamously signature Z-Saber slash in an attempt to take a little off the top hair-wise.
STR ROLL B: 15+1=16{Above average Z-Saber slash, 9% damage if it connects}

And ended the combo with a point-blank Z-Buster shot to the chest.
DEX ROLL: 16{powerful Z-Buster attack, 5% damage three times if it connects}

Zero was not gonna let Waluigi get under his skin like that, so much so that he forgot that he was in an inevitable consequence of his own actions.

(GW: Roll 8 DEX to dodge punch, roll 15 DEX to dodge Z-Saber, if hit by either, roll 17 DEX to dodge Z-Buster, if not, roll 15 DEX. Or use Bubble Shield)

[Mari]

Kelsey was somewhat flustered by Waluigi's appearance. Why were they calling her Mega Man's sister? Mega Man X didn't even have a sister? Who else could they be talking about? She was only distracted for a moment however, as Zero snapped her back to attention when he drew his sword. Kelsey grimaced. She didn't like swords. Y'know what sucked? Hand to hand combat with someone who had a sword. That sucked. "...Right." she replied somewhat reluctantly. She didn't like the idea of letting Zero go without at least a stern talking to about this whole zeroth law business, but she also knew nobody would be there to back her up if Zero decided to terminate her.

...What a depressing thought. Homesickness washed over Kelsey and demoralized her. Suddenly the only thing she wanted to do was find a quiet place to settle down and think things over, but she knew she couldn't do that. In times like these, failure to act was unacceptable. Her train of thought was interrupted by Zero's sudden approach. Kelsey thrust her arms to the side, little energy shields materializing on her forearms. It was her best shot at not getting diced up.

sMoJI02pp_1d20-2 (Kelsey's punch dodge)
p_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Saber Dodge)

To Kelsey's surprise, Zero decided to attack with his fists instead of his saber. Her arm rose to protect herself, the little plasma shield dampening the force of Zero's punch somewhat as it impacted her. Seeing his saber coming but being unable to move in time, she once again raised her other arm to parry the blow, keeping it away from her beautiful hair. Sparks flew as the saber impacted her arm, the shield once again doing it's job of somewhat reducing the amount of damage she took.

p_1d20-2 (Kelsey's Critical Z-Buster Dodge)

Returning her attention to Zero, Kelsey's visible brow rose in questioning. Was he trying to humiliate her? What kind of monster cut off a girl's hair..? That was just pure, raw villain stuff right there. She didn't get much time to question this however, as it appeared Zero had one last attack planned for her. Seeing Zero's saber retract into its buster form and point at her, Kelsey pre-emptively threw herself aside in an attempt to dodge the attack. Dodging bullets after they were fired was never an ideal policy. Luckily, the momentary pause gave her all the opportunity she needed to scrape by. Her eyes lit up with something resembling anger. The hair was off limits, and she needed to remind Zero of why that was.

Lunging in at Zero, it looked like Kelsey might just punch him again. Yet, this was a feint. Using her close proximity, she promptly thrust her fist right past Zero's head and ... attempted to grab his hair! Kelsey had never been in literally any catfight ever, but this seemed like a valid strategy.

p_1d20+1 (Kelsey's Grapple)

She would then yank it forward to force Zero into an awkward position, promptly pulling her other arm back and attempting to violently strike him with one of her super fists, right in his gut! It exploded outwards from her arm at him, threatening to strike him even if he managed to pull away from her grasp.

p_1d20+5 (Kelsey's Super Fist! Does 14% Damage)

Assuming Kelsey had managed to grab ahold of Zero's ponytail, she would then rather obnoxiously use it as a handle with which to yank and toss Zero over her shoulder with one big heave, firing one of her super fists after him to chase him.

p_1d20+5 (Kelsey's Critical Super Fist! Does 21% Damage)

Kelsey
12% Damage
5% Shield Damage
Status: Arm Shields Cooldown: 2 turns left

(GW: roll 17 STR to break grapple, if grapple is not broken add +1 to dodge thresholds, roll 17 DEX to dodge first Super Fist, roll 22 DEX to dodge crit Super Fist (also look into getting a lucky rabbit's foot because rolling higher than 20 on a 0 MOD is impossible, good luck). Bubble Shield may not be used while in grapple)1d20-2·1d20-2·1d20-2·1d20+1·1d20+5·1d20+5

[Mr. Game & Watch]

“Wheh! What does Waluigi look like to you, bozo encyclopedia!? One second, Waluigi has to take this.”

(INT = 14 – 1 = 13)

“What a kerfuffle! Contestants in the arena can’t be making intimidation checks on the announcers! That is interfere with our freedom of speech!”

“…Yes, Great Goomba forbid that the fighters stop us from talking about nonsense while they’re brawling. Shock of all shocks, maybe the people came here to see two robots knock each other senseless instead of listening to our jibber jabber.”

“Nonsense!? We are distinguished and highly educated experts on every martial art from every corner of the multi-verses! We guide the great people of this nation through these battles so that they can better understand why people fight the way they do!”

“…Of course, and we do that by crank calling Mario and talking about what we’re having for lunch later?”

“Exactly, I soothe people into the conversation and once they are comfortable, I snap them in like a hungry Piranha Plant, teaching them the ways of our combatants’ culture the same way they would slither through that same creature’s digestive tract!”

“I have been working in the Sunshine Stadium for over two years and I can tell you that I have learned nothing from anything you’ve said. In fact, I may know less about other cultures than before.”

“Because you don’t listen correctly! Speaking of which, where did Waluigi go!?”

“He left to deal with… other things…”

“WHAT!? How come he didn’t say anything!?”

“He did. I just muted his microphone because I refuse to promote toilet humour…”

“BAH! Now we don’t have any guests to interview! This ruins my entire shtick for this evening!”

“…Oh no, we have to wing it? We’ve never done that before…”

“Big Top! Quickly cut to commercial!”

“…We can do that? Why aren’t we permanently on commercial break?”