LIFE AND TIMES NEWS PAPER: EDITION 3 August 1st

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WolfEx

Staff

The Original Waddle Dee

Last Seen Nov 12, 2023 10:39:33 GMT -8

1,412 posts

I may be man made, but your nitemares never lie.

LIFE AND TIMES NEWS PAPER: EDITION 3 August 1st Aug 3, 2015 12:43:41 GMT -8

Post by WolfEx on Aug 3, 2015 12:43:41 GMT -8

H O R O S C O P E S:

Eyeries (Mar 21 – Apr 19)	For some reason you will find darkness and solitude is your friend. MISERY FOR ALL MONTH LONG! MWAHAHA!
Tauros (Apr 20 – May 20)	You will get a scrape at some point, and it will get infected, and maybe...will you become Infected!?! I HOPE SO! MWAHAHA!
Geminiman (May 21 – June 20)	You will fall in love with a very dangerous person containing a violent history and many secrets. I hope it ends in TORMENT! MWAHAH!
Necromancer (June 21 – July 22)	You will fall into a hole, and find someone barely alive down there at some point. How strange. I guess this is a happy ending, you both make it out alive and become great battle companions. HOW BORING! MWAHA!
Litleo (July 23 – Aug 22)	You will catch a cold and be unable to smell for several days. SUCKS FOR YOU! OR SHOULD I SAY ACHOO! HAHAHA!
Virmago (Aug 23 – Sep 22)	You will find inner peace with older veterans of the fray. Stay away from the rookies and the worthless newbs. They will do nothing for you and your talents. YOU CAN ALWAYS LEARN FROM ME! MWAHAHA!
Goombra (Sep 23 – Oct 22)	You will step on something very sharp and suddenly get an inspiration for something very exciting. WHAT YOU DO WITH THAT INFORMATION IS YOUR BUSINESS! MWAHA!
Skelpio (Oct 23 – Nov 21)	You will be attacked by a pelting object. But the object may be worth more than you know. DECIDE IF THE OBJECT IS WORTH KEEPING OR NOT! MWAHAHAH! I WOULD BE AFRAID BE VERY AFRAID! But don't. BUT DO!
Sluggularius (Nov 22 – Dec 21)	A friend will be lost to you, the connection will fade, and you will go your separate ways. OH GET OVER IT YOU FOOL! MWAHA! Life goes on! HA!
Falcon (Dec 22 – Bod 19)	This month you will become stronger than those you have previously faced or failed to conquer, I would try again and see how you've grown in the wake of battle. MWAHA! VICTORY IS...YOURS!
Capricom (Bod 20 – Jan 19)	You will share an apartment with someone you hate immensely. They will eat all your food and use all your stuff. I LOVE YOUR FORTHCOMING PAIN! OH THE JEALOUSY! MWAHAHA! HA!
Awkuarius (Jan 20 – Feb 18)	Oh how upsetting, you will be gifted something very useful, and it will save many lives. THIS DOES NOTHING FOR ME! MWAHA!
Poesces (Feb 19 – Mar 20)	I see...I see....well nothing really. Oh wait here we are, you are going to get a really awesome job opportunity this month. WELL GOOD FOR YOU! GRR! MWAHA! HAHA!